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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » The Existence of Bisexuality

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Author Topic: The Existence of Bisexuality
ShanShan
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Member # 49994

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Before I continue on, I fully believe that bisexuality exists. Trust me.

Okay, so recently I got into an argument with my mother about sexuality. She believes that people can't like both or all sexes(pansexuality), she believes that each person likes one or another and can't like more than one. I tried explaining to her that there are people who are attracted to both sexes and she said that they probably like one more than the other and that obviously means that they are straight or gay. I said no, because if someone is heterosexual then they like their opposite gender, and if they are homosexual then they like the same gender. If they are attracted to both that makes them bisexual, basically it was me and my mom back forth.

I would just like to know why some people think that bisexuality doesn't exist, of why some people believe it doesn't? And what your opinions on the matter are.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, as someone who has been queer and has had attractions and relationships with people of more than one sex or gender for around 30 years now, with no suggestion that will ever change, it's probably obvious how I feel when someone suggests I don't exist.

(I always want to know, too, does that mean I don't have to pay taxes anymore since I'm not real? It seems only fair, after all.)

It's not going to be a big shocker to you that the people who tend to express these sentiments aren't usually bisexual people. They're also not usually people basing what they're saying on anything but their own personal experience, which is always a huge error when it comes to sexuality, period, and one people often make.

So, maybe your Mom never has experienced attraction to more than one gender, and that's why she can't get it. Or maybe the idea scares her in some way: that's pretty common, too, just like it's common for people to feel like their world and understanding of sexuality doesn't make sense anymore once bisexuality is part of the range of possibilities with sexuality. On top of that, it usually comes from people who also think of or have experienced gender pretty simplistically, as if it were so simple as an either/or when we know it's not.

But the why of people feeling this way is going to vary a lot, so you usually have to ask the person voicing things like this why THEY are thinking this way. It can be helpful to open that question by saying something like, "I know and hear that you don't believe bisexuality exists, but since there are people who have clearly been bisexual all their lives, that's obviously just not true. But I'm wondering why you're having such a hard time accepting that. Could you fill me in?"

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68164 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill2000Plus
Activist
Member # 41657

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I think I'll ask the next person who says bisexuals don't exist if that means I don't have to pay taxes (I don't at the moment anyway, because of the benefits I'm on, but it would still be a delicious moment of snark).

[ 07-01-2011, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: Jill2000Plus ]

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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