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Author Topic: I'm so nervous!!!
Ste-Funnie
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I'm hanging out with my "girlfriend" today, which i don't even know if I should be calling her that. We barely know eachother, so today, this is just a get-to-know-each-other-day. When she messaged me on facebook the other day, her exact words were "I would like the chance to DATE you and get to know you more." Which is possible that maybe today isn't a date but she meant at some point she would. You do have to get to know each other b4 dating.

The thing I'm so worked up about is, when she said she wanted to date me, I was so happy I was tearing. She even said that she was happy when I said yes. The problem is, if she didn't mean what I thought, well, some of you people know how upset I've been for not being able to find a girlfriend. I would cry every night and talk about giving up. Then I was so happy, and if it turns out we're just friends, and wasn't really asking me out, (even though she said "date") then I would've been happy and tearing for nuthing!

I thought the irony was, I was upset for not having a gf aka valentine, and then finally found one after. Now it's possible that I thought I had a valentine and I never did. [Frown]

Every time we chatted, after she said she wanted to date me, she hasn't talked about it any more. How am I supposed to know this??? [Confused]

I sure hope this goes good.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CoatRack
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What is your question?

We can't know another person's intentions so we have no way of knowing what she meant with what she said.

Are you asking for help with the fact that your nervous? Or do you want advice on how to bring up a conversation about what kind of relationship you are in?

[ 02-24-2011, 08:04 AM: Message edited by: CoatRack ]

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
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I asked my question. Yes both of what you said. I roll played with my mom last night but I feel like an idiot to even bring it up. I just need advice, period.

One question is, how do i deal with this.

[ 02-24-2011, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: Ste-Funnie ]

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
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ste-funnie, if you're crying every night i think it's time to step back and assess what's going on with you. Would you consider going to chat with an in-person counsellor? that might be a good idea.

In terms of dealing with your new gf (btw, how about you ask her outright how she feels about that term?) i am very in favour of no beating around the bush. If this is upsetting you so much, your emotional well being will benefit from clear understanding between the two of you. So, when you're hanging out, say that you're a little confused and ask if this is leading to a more intimate relationship. Obviously, if you're still getting to know each other, she might not know where it's headed so while you may want a relationship, keep yourself grounded in what's happening *now* rather than what could happen in the future.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
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The thing is, what else does "I would like the chance to date you" mean? Then she won't talk about it to me anymores. I'm sure she couldn't have meant "date" as in like "January 7th" and whatnot. "I would like the chance to date you" as in "I would like to put Jan. 7th 2011 on you". Why would she have said that she wants to date me, and then not talk to me about it and then not actually wanna date me? (Which I'm not sure thats whats up)

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Carpe Diem
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I would suggest trying to relax a bit and not overanalyze this to death. As you said, you barely know each other, so how about just seeing how this get-together goes today and take it from there?

As Andy said, we have no way of knowing another person's intentions, but just going on what you said she wrote you, if she said she wanted to date you than she probably does want to give it a try. Just because she hasn't brought it up in your chats since then doesn't necessarily mean she changed her mind, but perhaps that she already stated her intentions and didn't feel the need to do so again. Mind you, this is just my interpretation, and for all we know I could be way off base, since, again, I nor anybody else can know what she is thinking.

However, my advice to just try to calm down and not stress yourself out so much. We can't know what the future will bring, so as I mentioned, if I were in your shoes I would see how it goes when you hang out and take it from there.

[ 02-24-2011, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: happybunny123 ]

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

Posts: 210 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
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Right. Plus, there's no way anyone would say that they wanna date me if they really didn't. It's almost like why would you say you want a banana when you really don't want one.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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