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Author Topic: We Have A Problem...
MickyDomino
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I know, I am like the reaper of deth this week, but now I have a mahor problem. As you all know I have delved deep into the gay commnity since coming out, the bad part is my dad isn;t aware that I am gay, and my mom and I decided it was best to wait until he found out, due to the fact that our relationship would die. So, that brings me to the problem, my dad is able to go into my computers hard disk and see EVERY WEBSITE I HAVE EVER VISITED! Every GSA website, Logotv.com, and, I am shamed to admit this, the porn sites I have seen. So, this would allow my father to get a pretty good guess that I am gay. I would lose my father, my comuter, possible destroyed my parents relationship. So I am asking what in the h*** am I supposed to do???

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Harvey Milk is my hero.

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Djuna
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Hi, Micky - while I can understand why you might feel ashamed about the kind of sites you visit, know that there's no need to feel that way. Porn is a healthy part of a lot of people's sexual lives.

That aside, is the problem that he could potentially see the website history, or is it that he already has or is particularly likely to do so soon? If you like, I can research ways to improve your privacy when you use your computer - I'm not as tech-savvy as I was a few years ago, but I could sure look through some things.

Too, any negative reaction your father may or may not have to your sexuality is absolutely his fault, not yours. You don't have to take responsibility for the way he may behave if he finds out that you're gay, ok? [Smile]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MickyDomino
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Thank you! That would be nice to research...but you don't have too if you don't want too.

Okay, I know it not my fault, but still I can't help but feel like it is my fault, even when I know it isn't you know wat I mean?

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Harvey Milk is my hero.

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Djuna
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OK, I'll have a look for you - do you use the same computer as your parents? If so, do you have a separate user account, and is the password private? Mac? PC? Which web browser?

I know exactly what you mean - I often feel like that myself (I'm not out to either of my parents, although I don't go out of my way to hide things, so I'm sure they have an inkling).

What I'd ask yourself is, what things are a parent's job? Being accepting and supportive of their offspring's sexuality and relationships is definitely part of a parent's job, for me. It's not part of a young person's job to alter their own sexuality and relationships to keep their parents sweet and meet their expectations. That's not saying you should come out if you don't want to - not at all - but know that wanting to keep something private doesn't make it wrong.

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Stephanie_1
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Haha - mindmeld there Joseph.

Mickey, have you told him how you feel about this? It is a pretty big invasion of privacy. While lying or hiding things isn't such a great thing - there is a way to simply delete your browser history and the cookies, so if he goes to see what you visited it's not there. It depends on what web browser you use (firefox, explorer) because there's different ways for each but you can do it. You need to make sure to do both history and cookies though, or he can look at the other. I know how to wipe them for firefox and explorer if you use one of those already.

[ 07-07-2010, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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MickyDomino
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You see, my father doesn't care, I tell him about this he will just check my computer because he knows I have a reason to hide. I know I shouldn't lie, but Its the best thing right now, I mean my dad and I don't have the greatest relationship to begin with so I don't want to snap the string thats already there. I also have a question, when you delete those things, does it delete them off of your hard drive completely, like to where they will never ever be seen again? (I use explorer b the way) Cause my dad says he is able to go into my har drive and see everything, and I sometiems don't believe him, and I think he is trying to just scare me...but I am unsure.

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Harvey Milk is my hero.

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Djuna
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It is in theory possible to find deleted history on the hard drive, yes - but you need special software, as far as I can see. Now, your dad may or may not have that kind of software. Whether he does or not, the fact that he's checking your history at all is a massive invasion of privacy. I don't understand why it is he has felt the need to tell you he will check up on your internet history - what was the conversation there?

To delete history, cookies, and temp files, you want Tools>Internet Options, hit the General tab and then Browsing History. You should get a list of delete buttons, and you want history, cookies and temporary Internet files, which for me are the top three. Doing that makes you more or less bulletproof, unless your father were to start doing some really in-depth hacking of your hard drive, which is unlikely.

Those directions might be different if you have a newer version of IE - if you have IE 8 you can then turn on InPrivate browsing.

I think one thing, unfortunately, is that if you can't feel safe using a shared computer for pornography, it may be an idea not to.

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Stephanie_1
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Also, in case you use Firefox, to delete the history you click the history tab, click show all history, then select all in the list and delete.

To delete the cookies, go to tools, click options, show cookies, remove all cookies.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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MickyDomino
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Okay, I just found that my father has been trying to scare me, because I called my cousin (who is extremely good with computers) and she told me that there is no possible way for him to see any of my history or anything, and thatnk you Joseph and Stephinie for helping me figure out how to delet this and ocnceal everything! Thank you so much again!

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Harvey Milk is my hero.

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Mortality
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Clear out your browser history?
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Smthng56
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There's a prog called CClean, easily can deleted all the histories etc.
Posts: 73 | From: Russia | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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