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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Crush on a teacher

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Author Topic: Crush on a teacher
DSONFan101
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My History teacher is kind of new to teaching. She's 24 and I'm almost 16 (i'm a girl). just recently, i've been thinking about her a lot. about a month ago, it dawned on me: i have a crush on my history teacher. the only 2 people i told were my two friends. their reactions were very different. one thought that it was perfectly normal, and she is the one i've been telling everything to lately. the other friend ended up making fun of me when i told her. see, my teacher isn't someone that you would find attractive at first glance. you really just have to look at her and talk to her.

but i digress.

so, lately, i've been staying later in class because i have her right before lunch, so i have nowhere to be, really. and i've been coming up with these questions as an excuse to just talk to her. i'd stay and ask stuff like "what was college like in the salem witch trial days?" and just weird things like that.

so, much more recently, i haven't been able to stop thinking about her. when i wake up, she's usually the first thing i think about, and i usually get really sad. but then i walk into her classroom, see her, and suddenly, i can't stop smiling.

could i be falling for her? and how can i stop it?

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and my junk is you.

Posts: 15 | From: Bay Area, California | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PenguinBoy
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Hiya Pisces gurl!

quote:
could i be falling for her?
I think to really "fall for" some you have to know them. Teachers are a very common crush, part of this could be because of the authority or even the security of knowing it CAN'T be realised, but also teachers are in a position where they have to be self-conscious; it's their job to appear a certain way and for that reason pupils will usually only know a very small part of who their teachers really are, and only in a very controlled context. That makes falling for the complete her, very unlikely, because you don't know her anywhere near completely.

quote:
and how can i stop it?
The first step is wanting to but in asking that question it implies you're already there, so that's good. What's also important is to truly face up to the fact that this can't go anywhere. The crush comes from very understandable causes but in your head it's a lot easier than it'd ever be in real life. Your teacher is someone who is outside of all your social circles, so quite often a crush like this can just be an escape or a distraction from the rest of your life. But it's not sustainable and trying to reengage with the rest of your life is important.

Refocusing your thoughts or time onto your own friends, hobbies and school work, I think, is the best way to admit what your relationship with her really equates to: a student/teacher one. That way you can get on with your life and enjoy it with people who you can get to know better, and interact with and grow with.

[ 10-29-2008, 07:53 AM: Message edited by: PenguinBoy ]

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Posts: 633 | From: Bedfordshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Too? When crushes are not returned, they tend to fizzle away in time pretty easily. Especially once you get to a point in your life where you have feelings for people who you will pursue relationships with who do share and return your feelings. Hero worship generally just doesn't hold a candle to mutual, reciprocal interest.

Unless your teacher just is without scruples or doesn't value her job and also prefers dating teens to people her own age (unlikely), she's not likely to return your affections, so time in and of itself may take care of this.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68261 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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