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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » just one person...worth coming out?

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Author Topic: just one person...worth coming out?
drivemycar
Neophyte
Member # 27371

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I'm a girl, 95% straight, 5% gay. or bi, or whatever that mysterious 5% is.

anyway, in that 5%, i have fallen head over heels in love with another girl and we've had a few moments together... i can imagine myself having a great relationship with her at this point in my life, but in general i am attracted to men and i see myself settling down and marrying a man. i just can't decide whether it's worth making a big thing about having a lesbian relationship, or whether to just keep my lesbian parts quiet. i'm actually not attracted to a single other girl...just her.

aaaargh it's hardly worth all the upheaval of telling my mom i'm going out with another girl. not that she'd mind, but it would send out the wrong messages about myself in general.
my sexuality is soo confused!

Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
feefiefofemme
Activist
Member # 23917

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If you want to tell your mom, by all means do so. You don't have to tell her you're a lesbian or anything though. You can just say something along the lines of "I'm in love with this really great girl. This doesn't mean I'm not attracted to guys anymore or that I'm attracted to all girls. I just like her a lot and want to be with her." And if you don't feel ready to tell your mom yet, don't feel like you have to. While things may seem confusing right now, trust me, they're really a lot less complicated than you think they are. You really don't need to label yourself as straight, bisexual, lesbian, or anything else. You can just be you.
Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ikeren
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Member # 26880

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I've been telling a friend "You can be straight and just have a couple people you'll make exceptions for, you know? Nothing wrong with that."

And I'd say that is probably the way I think of myself, and if you uncomfortable with being either homosexual or bisexual, it is the best way to think of it all together - being straight with the ocasional exception. There are guys that I would make exceptions for...

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19, male, interested in Sadomasochism (BDSM) and some bisexual tendancies.

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drivemycar
Neophyte
Member # 27371

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I'm not at aaall uncomfortable with being gay or bi. I'd be happy to be either - I just don't think i am. i basically think of myself as straight but the person i am in love with happens to be the same sex as me. i just think it'll be confusing for everyone else if i'm going out with a girl, but i say i'm straight. it's probably more confusing for other people than it is for me, and TRUST ME that's saying something cos i'm sooooo confused. people ask me questions all the time about my sexuality and i'd be happy to reply....if only i had the answer. it just makes me look like i'm covering something up but actually i have nothing to hide - i'm perfectly open about my feelings for this girl. oh, and now it's starting to put guys off....

vicious circle!

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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quote:
i just think it'll be confusing for everyone else if i'm going out with a girl, but i say i'm straight.
Hun, what everyone else thinks about this really doesn't matter at all. If you're looking for a label simply so you can make it easier for people to get where you're coming from, don't bother. 'Cause see, if ya slap on a label now, it might not stick anymore in a year or two and then you'll feel compelled to backpedal.

I ID as lesbian. I've been dating a guy for two years. So what do I do? I let people assume whatever the hell they want to assume. Oh, and if someone asks straight out, you can always tell them that you are interested in people, not what's between their legs.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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