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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Gay Couples Adoption Rights

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Author Topic: Gay Couples Adoption Rights
Member # 14058

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Ok one of my close friends and I were talking and 3 years ago she became a mother. Well now she fells as if she should give her child up for adoption because she says she is a lesbian and no longer has any fellings for men at all. So basically she is considering giving her child up for adotion because she is a lesbian and has been in a relationship for over 2 years and thinks her child would be better off raised my a family with a male and a female. I asked her what she would tell the adoption agency her reason for giving her child up for adoption and she told me she would say because she was gay. I think it would be wrong of her to do that because it would give adoption agencies another reason not to allow gay couples to adopt children. can you please help me out because I don't want to be the reason she is never happpy, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life being mad at her.

ItZ gReAt To Be GaY !!!

Posts: 2 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Well, she shouldn't feel obliged to keep her child just to educate the adoption agency!

But there's absolutely no reason at all for her to feel that she can't be a good mother because she's a lesbian. Many, many people - whether because they're lesbians or single parents for other reasons - do a wonderful job bringing up children without having a mother and a father present.

Extensive research has shown that children of lesbian or gay parents are just as emotionally healthy as children of heterosexual parents. They are also just as likely to be heterosexual as anyone else, in case that's what she's concerned about.

I'd suggest that she do a search on Google or on "lesbian parenting" - there are plenty of books and resources out there.

If she feels she simply can't cope with being a parent, that's one thing. But being a lesbian doesn't in any way mean that.

As an additional note, a 3-year-old being placed for adoption would be considered "hard-to-place" in many areas. Most of the heterosexual couples looking to adopt are looking for healthy newborn infants, preferably white. Older children are seen as "damaged goods".

So if she did relinquish her child for adoption, the likelihood is that it would spend considerable time in foster care, and might never be adopted at all. And if it did find adoptive parents, it might well be placed with a single parent or a gay or lesbian couple.

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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