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Author Topic: Friends
Agent_Smith
Neophyte
Member # 13186

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Ok, first things first, I'm a straight guy, although some would describe me as "camp" and at colledge half the people think i'm gay, it dosn't bother me, and i neither confirm nor deny it, outside of colledge i have a lot of very close friens that are gay, lesbian, bi, and straight, and there has never been any problems at all, we all know each others sexual preferences, and thats fine.

However, one of my closest friends who we all thought of as being straight confided in me that he finds me attractive, and i can't help but find it disturbing. Not in the sence that a bloke likes me, more to do with one of my best friends, who has been hiding it so long, and the stuff we've done together etc. without knowig.

He's a really close friend, but i feel like im treating him differently now, than what i was b4, i know it must have taken a lot of courage to talk to me, but i just don't know what to do about it.


Posts: 11 | From: S/w England | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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One thing that might help is to ask him if he finds you attractive in a "I'd love to get involved with you" sort of way, or in a "I like the way you look" sort of way. People of all sexual orientations can find someone attractive without being sexually/romantically interested in them, so that's one thing to think about.

Another thing you might find helpful to talk about how you feel about what he's said, and if you haven't already done this, let him know that you're straight and only interested in friendship with him.

Something like this can seem really awkward and can indeed affect a friendship, but if you're both willing to talk about what's going on, you've got a much better chance of keeping a good friendship going.

Hope this helps.

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.


Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fly_little_wing
Activist
Member # 8684

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Well, you said you have many gay, lesbian and bi friends, right? So are you feeling differently about your friend because he said he finds you attractive? My advice is that you, nicely, let him know that you're just intersted in being friends. If you need to take some time before you talk to him, do so. It took a while for the guy who liked me to feel comfortable talking to me after I told him I was a lesbian.

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And now she's walking through the clouds with a circus mind that's running wild. ~ Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales. ~ All she ever thinks about is riding with the wind. ~ When I'm sad she comes to me. ~ With a thousand smiles she gives to me, free. ~ 'It's alright, it's alright' she says. 'Take anything you want from me. Anything.'


Posts: 41 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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