me and my gf been together for 8mon. and i really love her but i think we're about to break-up and i don't know what to do about it. she seems real distant and she's been talking to other girls and letting girls touch on her and she was thinkin about breakin-up with me to go with someone else and i don't know what to do i don't wanna los her can u help
Posts: 7 | From: philadelphia,pa | Registered: Oct 2002
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Hey philly~ First of all, I'm sorry to hear that, from what I've experienced, there is a lot of *DRAMA* and emotional distress in a girl-girl breakup. If you're not out of the closet, watch out that she doesn't tell anyone about this relationship, unless you want to be out quickly and abruptly.
Okay, so this is the part you don't want to hear. Your girlfriend has feelings, too. She has the right to be attracted to other people, and lose attraction to you. It's the way all humans were made. You never know, you could meet a girl tomorrow and be attracted to her, there's just this little thingy (scientific, huh?) in our bodies that makes us become attracted to other people. This thingy does not, however, work around a committment, unfortunately.
What your girlfriend DOES NOT have a right to do, however, is to lead you on, and pretend you two are still in a relationship, when it is obvious that she is, well, cheating. YOU need to confront her about this. Ask her if she still wants to be with you. If she says she does then tell her to act like it! Tell her how you feel. And, please, tell her that if she wants to be with you, then to stop fooling around. If she says she doesn't want to be with you, then (I hate to be blunt, but..) screw her! You are obviously more mature than this girl, since you acknowledge a committment, so get out there and find someone who's willing to commit! And, I don't know if you're into guys or not, but if you are, then look there too! Just keep your options open. I hope I helped, because, well, at one time I was in this situation and I made some bad decisions and I learned from this. Hang in there. ~Alex~
Yeah apparently because both of you are females you are proned to be more dramatic about things because as females it is in our nature to be like this. Geez. I did not make any sense to myself. But besides that I hope things get better. And if she does not want to be with you so let her. You can go and find better. Because if she is actting like this you do deserve better in a relationship. ;p
Posts: 4 | From: Glendale, CA, USA | Registered: Mar 2003
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I recently just ended an 11 month relationship with my girlfriend. We have only been apart for about a month now, but she is off in her own land with other girls out the wazoo. I admit, it is hard for me to see her with other girls and know she has genuine feelings for them, but thankfully my life isn't over. I love her more than anything still but I can and will move on. She loves me, too, but we both acknowledge it'd be best if we were apart.
But back to the original topic at hand. I'm sorry if you do break up with your girlfriend because I know how hard it is. If you two do split, be sure to give yourself time away from her to heal and to be ready for at least a friendship with the girl (assuming you want that). And if she's cheating, pff, you can do better than that! Her doing that is very unfair to you no matter how you look at it. Anyway, I hope everything works out for you and your girl!
Posts: 81 | From: Hayward, California, USA | Registered: May 2001
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i'm sorry to hear you're having problems. yuo two should definitely sit down and str8 talk about it, and if you say everyhting that you've been thinking about, and she still seems aloof, i hate to say it, but break it off. it'll be hard, but in the end, it's for the best, before she decides to act like an ass and be mean to you so that you'll break it off, which is what happened to me. that hurts more, believe me. who knows, after you break up, you might get more booty than you can handle. and that's almost always a good thing.
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