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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » My friend

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Author Topic: My friend
Member # 10158

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Annikwasha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, I've known this guy forever. This year I decided to ask him to winter formal. He said yes. I totally like him and I think he likes me too. But I heard from a mutual friend that he had a boyfriend named Mike. We were on the phone and he told me that it was just a rumor and not to talk to the person who told me. I totally trust him. But everyone says that he is gay. And his sister told my friend that it's true, and that their parents are making him go to a therepist. And that they made him break up with his boyfriend. I don't want to ask him again cuz he already told me once that it's not true. But his sister is my best friend and I don't know which one of them I should believe. Even if he is gay, that's cool with me. He's the most awesome person I know and nothing would ever change that. If it's true, his parent's shouldn't be making him go to a therapist, because it's his own decision, and I'm just worried about him. Either the rumor isn't true and he's having to deal with everyone talking about him, or it's true and everyone's still talking about him behind his back, and his parents are making it hard for him. I want to know what's really true. Should I talk to him about to him about it again, to clear thing up? Or should I let it drop and let him come to me if he wants to talk about it?
Posts: 4 | From: San Clemente, CA, U.S. | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sounds like a sticky situation no matter what way you look at it, huh?

Personally, i would go for the info right from him. And think about what reasons your best friend and 'this guy' have to lie to you. Are there any? What are they gaining by it?

If it tells you again that he's not gay, I would let it be for now. However, if you're going to be persuing a relationship w/ this guy, i think you have a right to know his thoughts on his own sexuality.

As for people talking behind his back, it happens. It's not fair, and it's not right, but in this age group (assuming you are 13-19), it's happens quite often. If you think he'd want to know, go ahead and tell him. At the same time, he may be quite offended that you're 'meddling' in his affairs in the first place.

I'm gonna go ahead and send this to GBLT Relationships, where you'll be able to get responses from others as well.

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree with Smurfie about going directly to the source for information - how on Earth could anyone else know his sexuality with any reliabilty? However, if he's made it clear to you he doesn't want to discuss this I'd wait and let him come to you. It sounds like he has a lot of people questioning him about his sexuality right now and I can't see what good adding one more would do.

And I suggest simply asking him what his feelings for you are, not what his sexual orientation is. That will give you the information you need without invading his privacy.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10249

Icon 7 posted      Profile for doobydoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think you should talk to him. Sometimes, people will try to form a relationship with a person of the opposite sex just to "take the heat off" of them if their friends and families are giving them a hard time. Things could get very ugly if this is the case. Just tell him you want to know how he really feel about you.
Posts: 3 | From: Kentucky | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12218

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Slayergurlie149     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Geez. I know from my personal experience that coming out to someone like maybe a person like you is hard. When I first figured out that I was bisexual it was hard. I still have not even told my parents. Lots of my friends know though. I could understand why he would be doing this to you. See, when the ones you love do something drastic about being this way it is hard for people to trust. Meaning maybe he is affraid that if he does tell you that he is homosexual like his parents you will turn on him. Just a guess on my part but think about it from his point of view. I really hoped I helped you and this guy.[clap]

Keep up what you think is right even if you are looked at. Heck you live a little feel much.

Posts: 4 | From: Glendale, CA, USA | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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