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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Crush on straight guy

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Author Topic: Crush on straight guy
dosdeabril
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Member # 7220

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Well, I'm not really looking to get any questions answered. I'm a recently semi-out 16 year old michigander, currently living in Mexico City as an exchange student. I've been here for 6 months, and in the experience, have learned many a things about myself, including my sexuality.
I've always been sexually attracted to guys. I had always thought it was something wrong with me. Eventually I thought it was just a normal thing that nobody could talk about. But it didn't matter, because there was no reason to tell anyone. Up until now, I couldn't look at having a real relationship with a guy, or even kissing a guy, seriously. Then I went on this huge tour in the south of Mexico, and met an exchange student from turkey that lives 5 hours west from me. It started out as a crush, and now I'm in love. *sigh*
The biggest problem of it all, is that he is so obviously straight. All the signs, from what he says, how we've discussed sexuality, hell... I think that if I told him I was bi, he'd shy away. He wouldn't want to, but I think he would. That's why I'm waiting to tell him, I can't risk never having him touch me again, because right now, that's the best.
We are already the closest of friends. I see him about every 2 weeks, and he's stayed in my house for a week and everything. The only problem, is I can't shake the idea that he's only saying what he thinks he has to say. I get this feeling that he's at least thought about it. I think that he might at least in part, be sexually attracted to guys. I think that he might be attracted to me, at least I know he is to my person. I just get the feeling sometime, very little, I mean, there have been less signs pointing to YES than to NO.
I'm gonna be spending spring break with him in Puerto Vallarta, 1 week, it will be awesome. I'm hoping that we get closer closer closer, until there is only 1 step left. I don't know, I started searching the internet recently looking for identical situations with happy endings, but instead found plenty, but with depressing endings. All I'm hoping now is that I'm eventually genuinly happy just being his close friend... but he is so perfect.
Any input? Thanks for reading all that!

Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Member # 5375

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quote:
Originally posted by dosdeabril:
All I'm hoping now is that I'm eventually genuinly happy just being his close friend... but he is so perfect.

Honestly it sounds like you have it figured out. If he's heterosexual or unwilling to acknowledge any nonhetersexual feelings he has, friends is the best you can hope for.

On the other hand, the only relationships that really appeal to me are the ones that start out as friendship. Of course this doesn't mean that every friendship I have becomes romantic but it's not a bad place to start.

Summary: Carry on. At best he'll share your feelings and you two will be amazingly happy forever more. At worst you'll have a friend.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bearcub
Neophyte
Member # 6958

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quote:
Originally posted by dosdeabril:
It started out as a crush, and now I'm in love. *sigh* ...
All I'm hoping now is that I'm eventually genuinly happy just being his close friend... but he is so perfect.


Boy, does that sound somewhat familiar! Only I am F,27, and living in Europe, and the straight girl I have fallen in love with is way over on the other side of the Atlantic, as does her BF :'(
I have told her, and she took it well, but also made it clear that she did not feel the same way. I, too, hope that I can eventually settle for being friends, because I know it will never be more - but as you yourself put it: (s)he's so perfect...
I wish you luck - and see if you can't tell him... it was a great weight off my shoulders (as well as a surprise to myself) when I told her how I feel. :-/

------------------
"We read to know we're not alone."

- C.S. Lewis -


Posts: 12 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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