Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » How to ask

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: How to ask
Gaffer
Activist
Member # 2105

Icon 2 posted      Profile for Gaffer     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How do you know if someone is gay? You ask. Here's where the hard part comes in--how do you ask? Bluntly, subtly? Casually bring it up in a conversation or pull them aside and ask? What do you think?
Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smittenkitten
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

Icon 1 posted      Profile for smittenkitten     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's a hard thing to go about, and I don't usually do it.

I'm always going on about chicks I like or bringing up some gay rights issue, and that can make it easier for them to come out to me if they are gay.

If I were to ask, I'd do the whole "I was just wondering..." thing. It's also a kind of thrill to crack onto someone when you don't know if they're gay or straight.

Hugs & Scully,
Winnie :0)

------------------
~~Scarleteen Advocate~~
"Gillian Anderson and Annabeth Gish - the ultimate sandwich"

Keeper of:
Scully's bra (EA)
Mulders Wheelchair (SE)
Scene where S tells Sk she's pregnant. (Req)
Scully's green suede jacket (Unn)

Member of GAWS


Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jazzpenguin
Activist
Member # 5272

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jazzpenguin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I never make a move on someone unless I know that they're gay. So, I just ask them bluntly. If they say yes - wahey! If they say no, they either shrug it offf (and really don't mind), or they say (and I quote)

"NO WAY! I'm no ****ing battyboy! Are you a ****ing perv! Ewwwww - gross! Get away from me! Ah, ah, ah - YOU TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! AAAAAAHHHH!"

This is a good thing, as it lets you know whether people have that tiny little problem with your sexuality. In that case,, either shout them down, or, as I do, ask them in calming tones what their problem is. (They invariably get tounge twisted.)

Sorry Tangent.

In all, just ask people straight out (no pun intended).

------------------
jz


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sapphirecat
Activist
Member # 5317

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sapphirecat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Don't make any sort of sexual advance. Nobody I know worth dating likes dealing with people that have just one thing on their mind, whether that person is of the desired sex or not.

------------------
Sapphire Cat
You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.


Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nappyafrochik
Neophyte
Member # 11950

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nappyafrochik     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
i came right out and asked one chick. yeah she got mad, but hell, i didn't care, cuz i wanted to know, since we were all speculating anyway. most people i don't ask about, i just talk about my gayness so that if they are and need someone to talk to, they can talk to me bout it.

------------------
--->O_o<---


Posts: 20 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fly_little_wing
Activist
Member # 8684

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fly_little_wing     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I personally would never ask someone straight out. And here's my reasoning why: I'm still in the closet to everyone I know except my mom and 2 of my friends. If someone were to ask me if I was gay, I probably wouldn't be ready to tell them. I'm horrible at lying, so they'd easily be able to see through my discomfort and know I'm lying.
One of my greatest fears is that someone will ask me if I'm gay, and I'll be outted when I'm not ready yet. That's the key thing. When I'm ready to be out, I won't mind people asking me. But I'm only 15. I'm not ready to have details about my sexual orientation spread throughout the whole school.
So my opinion is to not ask her straight out. Maybe do like nappyafrochik and mention queerness and maybe that'll ease them into feeling comfortable enough come out.

------------------
And now she's walking through the clouds with a circus mind that's running wild. ~ Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales. ~ All she ever thinks about is riding with the wind. ~ When I'm sad she comes to me. ~ With a thousand smiles she gives to me, free. ~ 'It's alright, it's alright' she says. 'Take anything you want from me. Anything.'


Posts: 41 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3