Hi there everyone. This is my first time posting on this board, so it's nice to meet everyone. Well, I want to get some advice on a previous relationship I had. I just don't know what happened between us. I'm bi, and the girl I was with is a lesbian. Everything started out great. She plays softball, and so I asked her if she knew my friend (who is also gay). We started to write notes back and forth and so we essentially became friends. I know that we weren't friends long before we came 'better than friends'. She came to my house late one afternoon (my parents were home). I did my usual stuff...checked my email, chatted, sent some ims. One of my classmates (a male) was hitting on me with these lines that really sucked. She laughed and under her breath, said, "Well, I won't use that pick up line on you." I wasn't sure I heard her right, so I asked her what I said. I told her that she had all night to explain, because I just had to talk to her about what her feelings were. We wrote notes (I am very shy, and so is she) back and forth. We eventually got really tired because by then it was like 2 AM. So, I asked her if she didn't mind sleeping in the same bed as me. (Now, I've only slept in the same bed with another girl once before, and we didn't do what she and I did.) So, she went down on me, and we made out for like 5 hours. It was so freaking incredible. I saved all of the notes too. But...the next day I didn't like leave my room at all. I was so in love with her that I didn't want to leave her face. Eventually, she had to go home though. Now- this was a pretty hard situation, considering my bedroom is off a tiny little hallway off of the living room, so we had to be so quiet. K- so I had to act as if we were just friends and nothing incredible happened the night before. She left. That was the last time she ever came to my house. We didn't speak again for a couple of weeks. She had a party, but since my parents are so strict, I couldn't go. We spoke less often. Then we grew apart. I see her every day walking outside in the main hallway at our school. Sometimes we can sense each other coming, because she will already have her head down to avoid making eye contact. It doesn't hurt my feelings, because I do the same thing. All I want to do is smile to her and just start up a conversation. But I know that would be a miracle. We haven't spoken now since last October. I have called her. I left a message one time, but she never called me back. I try to avoid seeing her in the halls, because it just makes both of us uncomfortable. I wish we were at least still friends. I just don't see why there's so much tension between us. Oh- I did talk to her about 3 weeks ago for a few seconds, but she was on the other line. She promised me she'd call me back, but I fell asleep waiting by my phone. If anyone's had something similar happen to them, I just want to know what to do. Maybe the best thing would be to just let her go, but she is the only person I've ever been in a serious relationship with. Thanks!
------------------ ~Winners need their losers!~
Posts: 5 | From: ft. lauderdale, fl | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hey, Suzanny. Welcome to the boards! I hope to see you around more .
I was/still am in a situation miniscurely similar to yours. I was in love with a girl in my class (I am a lesbian), and I told her how I felt. To make a long story short: we both avoid each other in the halls now, and we hardly ever talk (we were formerly held conversations and did a few things together, so I guess you could say we were friends).
My advice to you is: talk to her! Stop her in the hall and say, "Hey, you and I both know we're avoiding each other, but I just want to know what's up between us. I miss talking to you." I regret not doing that while I still had the chance. And what do you have to lose, eh? You two already don't talk.
Mary's right. Don't even bring up how much you like LIKED her, just be like "I miss talking to you, what happened between us" and see what happens. The worst that could happen is she doesn't talk to you anymore (which is what you already have now), the best is that you'll get yourself a new girlfriend, and an okay medium is that you get a good friend. Let us know what happens!
------------------ Brittany Scarleteen Advocate
Finish the fairy tale that you were drunk enough to start - Veruca Salt
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