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Author Topic: coming out
Mary
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Member # 2769

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"Coming Out". Yikes! For many of us, this can be very anxiety-provoking. I know that when I came out to my friends, I was nervous as heck! And I find it even harder to tell my family members of my sexuality. I'm always afraid that they won't like me anymore or they will abandon me. Luckily, that has never happened For the most part people have been very loving and accepting. What are you guys' experiences with coming out? Have you gotten a lot of positive responses from the people that you've told, if you've told any at all? I believe that relationships are very important and not ONE deserves to be torn apart because of one's sexuality.
Posts: 500 | From: Ohio, U.S.A. | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hanne
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To be honest, I've only ever had a few negative responses to coming out... and most of those were from people I predicted would not react well, people who were very strictly religious in ways that pretty much guaranteed they would find anything other than the particular type of heterosexual relationship THEY liked to be unacceptable.
(So it wasn't exactly just me they were going to be disapproving of!)

Mostly, people have just taken it in stride. Some people have said "Cool, congratulations." A few have proceeded to hit on me, not that it necessarily did them much good. But for the most part, people just went "Oh, really? Huh. OKay, that's cool by me."

I find that the more matter-of-fact I am about it, and the more I act like it's not a huge big scary thing, the more other people are likely to act the same way. It helps.

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Hanne Blank
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Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
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So far, I've only come out to a few people. My best friend was great and incredibly supportive. I was really really REALLY nervous about telling her because we're soooo close and I couldn't have dealt with her not wanting to be my friend over this. But she's very supportive and proud of me and that's all good.

Another one of my friends was very, very cool with it. She actually kinda forced my to admit it (and the way its worded, it sounds like it was bad, but really, it wasn't) and she is now my g/f as of one month tomorrow. (See? Told ya it wasn't bad)

And then my best friend told a good friend of hers and she is very cool about it and is also very proud of me.

So far, my coming out expirence has been really good. I only hesitate in telling my parents ...


Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smittenkitten
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Member # 2297

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I tend to let people know about my sexuality soon after I meet them so I don't have to jump the "why didn't you tell me sooner" hurdle. A couple of my teachers know, as do most of my friends, my mum knows, and my dad might (if my mum told him). My homophobic best friend turned out to be cool with it but one night I slept over her house and drooled over Gillian Anderson a bit much...it's all cool now though :0)

Winnie :0)

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Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixie69
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Member # 406

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Does scarleteen count? Well, on here and on the chickboards I'm very "out". Real life...not so much. I've told one good friend but we don't really talk about it, it's like okay you're bi let's go to the mall. I've told a few acquaintances and one just wants me for sex (oh wait, did he ever not?), and the other one is praying for my soul. See I'm a cutting bisexual that doesn't go to church so he thinks I'm goin to hell, ahhH!.

More people think I'm a lesbian than the people I've actually told I'm bi. Mostly because I have a new friend, she's really friendly and we're always hugging and we'll joke around that we're going to go have sex. So everyone thinks that we are, plus an ex-friend is telling them we are. Most people react very cool when they find out that we are (or, when they think they find out). They're just like "really? cool" and then we're like no we're jsut messing around...I don't think we've convinced a lot of them.

i choose not to come out to my parents because like everything else they'll make fun of me and make me feel bad about myself which I don't really need right now but they don't think of it that way.

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Brittany
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Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rizzo
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Member # 802

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I agree Hanne, it's much easier if you're calm about it. I used to think it was a big secret, but now I don't really care what people think about my sexuality. With most people I don't have a "coming out moment," I just integrate it into my normal speech.
Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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