posted
joeyjorulz: at what age or time of life someone wants to comes out is VERY diverse.
Plus, might be worth thinking about how many people tell parents they are HETEROSEXUAL at those ages. Do you have the same critiques? See what I mean?
We ask users here please try and be supportive of other users. If someone wants to come out at any age, please be supportive. And since you ID as straight, I think it's important to remember that one part of being a good ally to members of any group which you/we are not is to ask more questions than you give answers.
In other words, it's certainly okay to ask someone why they feel like coming out to them at a certain age or time of life is important if you don't understand. But when you know you can't understand because that isn't your experience, giving directives is dismissive and unsupportive, even if you mean well.
If you want to hear about one experience, I came out to a parent around the time I was 15, and was, at that time, dating/having feelings for women. I'd had those feelings since I was 10, around the same time I also started having feelings for boys.
That was good timing for me, and having the support and acceptance of one of my parents was a huge deal at that time of life, and made navigating those feelings and all of my relationships a lot easier. In my case, I think if I'd have known how to come out, and that I could to some people, even earlier, that would have been very good for me.
That's not to say it is for everyone, or that that kind of timing is everyone's right timing. But for some of us, coming out fairly young was/is important and beneficial for a whole bunch of reasons.
P.S. Who knows when and if someone is going to go to college and/or have a partner. As well, bringing a partner home with you when you haven't yet come out could be REALLY unsafe in some homes. So, while that might work for some folks well, for others that could be pretty awful for them and their partner.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63428 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
I apologise if I offended in saying the 2nd part of my comment. I stand by wondering why it is necessary for youngsters who are bi to feel the need to mention it to anyone let alone parents. For a lesbian I fully understand the reasons.
Posts: 3 | From: Sydney NSW | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
Well, again, I'd ask you if you've noticed that straight people when they're the same age, often communicate to parents and others that they're heterosexual.
Of course, many don't have to because it is assumed to be so by "default," but even that default assumptions allows many straight teens to identify outwardly to others.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63428 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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