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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » help me pleasee, please.

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Author Topic: help me pleasee, please.
jld3
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im 15 and have never had sex, i believe in waiting. my boyfriend and i were fooling around on the 26th. His penis didnt go inside of me it was just rubbing on my vagina. and he said he wasnt wet at all. i started my period the next day (27th). could i be pregant? im so scared. please help
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Heather
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If you got your period the next day, as expected, you can be sure you did not become pregnant.

However, please understand that direct, unprotected genital-to-genital contact like that, especially if it results in ejaculation, poses the same kind of pregnancy risks as intercourse. Ejaculation or no, it also poses the same risks of sexually transmitted infections. And this is a kind of sex.

So, if you want to wait, this really is not waiting. And if you do not want a pregnancy or infections and want to do this, you two will need to do it using condoms at a minimum, okay?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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okay thank you so much. but my period was like a week early when i got it, is that okay?
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Heather
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How regular are your periods normally? And was it like your period in every other way, besides being early?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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my periods are like usually 28, 30 days apart they are very wierd. im still on ym period im on the 3rd day and it is normal. im bleeding like i normaly do and cramping like i normaly do.
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Heather
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Well, if by "weird" you mean irregular (though 28-30 days apart sounds very regular to me), then you can figure it may not even be early for you.

But if it looks, feels and acts like a period, it usually is a period, and three days of flow that feels like your period certainly indicates that's what you probably have right now.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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and i am very active, im on a compatitive dance team, i dance everyday, and i also run. could that be a reason too?
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Heather
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By all means, high levels of exercise can impact menstrual regularity. So can being low-weight and/or having very low levels of body fat, which is common with many dancers.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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okay, so im probably not pregnant?
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Heather
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If this is your period, which it sounds like it is, then you are absolutely not pregnant.

And so you understand, as I explain often, pregnancy is not instant. So, even if you were going to BECOME pregnant, from a risk on the 26th, you could not be pregnant by now. And given the timing, it sounds like you had that possible risk right before your period was due, which for most women -- not all, but most -- is not a fertile time.

Okay?

That taken care of, do you want to talk at all about how to move forward from here when it comes to sexual decision-making, protecting yourself, and figuring out what you do and do not really want to be doing? Do you need any help setting limits and boundaries with your boyfriend?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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okay, thank you so much. i want to talk to my mom about this but i dont think its the right time, she would over react. yes my boyfriend and i love eachother, we really do. he has never pressured me to have sex, but sometimes we just get carried away. and yes i need to learn to set boundaries.
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Heather
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Okay.

How about starting by sitting down with him next time you see him then, and pointing out a few things? For instance, I'd make sure he knew that what you guys just did carries the same kinds of risks -- and in many ways is the same -- as vaginal intercourse does. You can talk about how scared you have been and how you don't want to feel scared like this.

And if doing what you just did really isn't something you wanted to do, or want to do again, then that's something to need to be sure you are clear with him on. if it IS something you want to do and feel comfortable doing, but want to reduce your risks of pregnancy or infections, then it's time for you two to start talking about safer sex and condom use together.

You can also take that opportunity to check in with him and find out how HE feels about all of this, too.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jld3
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okay, i will talk to him and let you know how it goes. thank you so much. really, i appreciate it more than you know. i have alot going for me and i need to think about consequences before i do something dumb again. thank youu
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Heather
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Glad to be of help, and if after you have that conversation, you need any more, feel free to pop on back. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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