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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Not Sure Who Fathered My Unborn Child

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Author Topic: Not Sure Who Fathered My Unborn Child
Miss Unsure
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I made a huge mistake a few months ago when I ran into a guy that I used to date. I had a boyfriend of two and half years that I was very much in love with and at a moment of weakness I slept with this other man on 7/30/2006. I used protection and it didn't break. Now prior to this situation that previous weak and the day before I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I found out on 8/16/2006 that I was pregnant. The crazy part about it I went to the hospital on 8/7/2006 for abdominal pain and found out that I had a cyst on my ovarians. The emergency room doctors did a urine pregnancy test which came back negative. I later found out that if they did a blood test they would have possibly seen that I was pregnant. I am very scared and worried I confessed to my boyfriend about the situation and it put a real dark cloud on our relationship but he accepts that people makes mistakes. He wants to work things out but he wants a DNA test and I don't blame him I encourage it. But I wonder what are the possibilities of this other guy being the father. I mean we used a condom and it didn't break; he withdrew with no problem the condom showed no signs of leakage. I have been pregnant by my boyfriend before so I know that he can have children but I just don't want this mistake to ruin our relationship forever. For some reason my OB/GYN thinks that I could have gotten pregnant sooner that fourteen days after my period started on 7/15/2006 because I stopped suddenly taking birth control to lower my blood pressure a few days prior to my period starting. He believes that my body could have started ovulating right after my period. Tell me what you think?

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Alana Gibson

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Heather
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It doesn't sound likely that this other guy was the father.

You used a birth control method which you had no reason to believe failed, and to boot, you testted negative when there would have been the right amount of time for a urine test to net positive results.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Miss Unsure
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Are you sure because the other guy was the last person I had sex with although it was completely protected. My boyfriend feels very strongly that he is the father but my doctor believes that since they only did urine test and it wasn't the first morning urine it was diluted that the results could have been wrong at ER. I prayed and I feel in my heart that this is my boyfriend's baby but I can't help but wonder if by some strange turn of events this other guy fathered my child.

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Alana Gibson

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Heather
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You didn't have any sex at all, with anyone, after that date? And when you had sex with that other man, you had NO direct genital contact, at all, without the condom on?

What birth control, if any, were you using with your boyfriend? because if you had sex with both of them in a very close period of time, and used protection with one and not the other, the most likely scenario, by far, is that the one you did not use birth control with is the one whose sperm created a pregnancy here.

But in any case, "srtong feelings" aren't of much use here, and you won't be able to know for certain what the real deal is, guaranteed, until after a birth, if you intend to remain pregnant. So, if you and your boyfriend are talking about co-parenting, I'd have those conversations with the understanding that this will be an uncertainty until after a birth.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Miss Unsure
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From the date that my period ended on 07/20/2006 until 7/29/2006 I had sex with my boyfriend unprotected with no kind of birth control. I had sex with this other man with a condom on 7/30/2006. I found out that I was pregnant on 08/16/2006. The condom used with the other guy did not show any signs of breakage or tears in fact you could see where the sperm was secure in the condom when it was thrown away. We had no genital to genital touching at all without protection. I have been told that I don't have anything to worry about but if we didn't use protection (the other guy) then maybe I should worry but more than likely my child's father is my boyfriend because he had more unprotected contact with me during what was consider my fertile time period.

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Alana Gibson

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Heather
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Yeah: all of this given, it's incredibly likely that your boyfriend is the one involved in this pregnancy.

(Just be sure, btw, that if you are going to choose to remain pregnant, that when you start your pre-natal care, you ask for a new STI screening, since some STIs can be an issue with pregnancy or childbirth, and while condoms reduce STIs risks, they don't make them obsolete.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Miss Unsure
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Thank you so much for all your help and responding so soon. I am one step ahead of you I already had a full STI work up and luckily everything came back negative HIV included so this is the only worry I really have but I think I am going to give it GOD and just concentrate on having a healthy baby because that's the most important thing right now but I definitely learned a lesson. This was something so meaningless that didn't have to be I haven't spoken to the other guy in months so it definitely was a one time waste of time. I think even when I find out my boyfriend is the father I will still regret the betrayal more than anything. Thank you again for all your help.

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Alana Gibson

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bloobear
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You'd be surpised when that kid pops out...it's somtimes easy to tell. I unfortalty went through the same thing! And the time he was born I looked down and had my BF dimples and I KNEW right away. I dont even need a test im so sure.

My bf had blonde hair, dimples, and delicate features. The guy i had an incedent with was dark haired and large features.

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