How old do you think children should be when they're told about sex? and how they should be told?
I remember being told that ladies had special doors under their skirts where babies came out of.
I don't really like the idea of telling lies to my kids, as happened to me for a while. I learnt all my sex facts off my friends who probably weren't a relyable source. Then pretty soon, i had my mam reppetatively checking that i knew all the facts etc etc etc; probably to compensate for the man-to-man "talk" which my pop was way too much of prude for.
I think when/if i have childers i'll probably be completely straight with them and answer their questions with all the facts. However i worry that there's a reason for keeping these facts from kids til older ages.
Personally, I think that you should be as honest with children as possible, and if they have a question, answer it truthfully. I have absolutely no problem with a four year old knowing that babies are made through intercourse (or artificial insemination) and that they will be pushed out through a woman's vagina.
On a similar note, I would be fine with telling a kid that it's okay to touch herself and that her parents do it too. I'm pretty frank about stuff like that.
However, I don't expect a five-year-old to comprehend everything about sex, so I wouldn't see the point in explaining everything to them. Gender identity and things tend to crop up for the first time around that age (or at least they did with me), so I'd probably discuss that with my kid as it comes up.
If I ever did adopt children, I'd prefer to do it while in a long-term relationship, just because splitting up the work and having more than one income is helpful. So a discussion on sexual orientation would happen naturally. "Why do I have two mommies when Bobby Sue has a mommy and a daddy and Mary Joe has two daddies?" .... or it might not be an issue at all.
Then again, I live in a magical world where discussion of and the act of sex is not treated with fear. I feel like kids should be able to play with their toys in the living room while their parents have sex upstairs, and they're not weirded out by it at all because sex is such a natural thing in their lives. And that way, if they're comfortable with the idea of their parents having sex, they'll probably be more comfortable asking their parents about sex and not have to rely on friends.
Of course, this is all hinging on the chance that I do actually adopt kids. (Which I might. It's still up in the air. I know I don't want to have my own--would rather not go through the trouble or cost of artificial insemination or the emotional drama of having a friend donate sperm "the old-fashioned way," terrified of the birthing process and would rather not create another life when there are so many others in need of care.)
I guess parents want to keep their children (especially girls) "innocent" by not telling them about sex. My sister and I were talking about sex today, and my mother told us to "act like ladies" and not discuss such a "vulgar" topic. And we're 17 and 18.
I'm going off to college and I'll probably have sex there. Scary thought, huh? Actually, I'm quite intrigued by what my mother will tell me when I get settled in my dorm, considering I've never had a sex talk with my parents. To be honest, I don't think they'll even attempt the subject.
Like Jane, I have no problem if my kids ask about where babies come from, what sex is even if at a young age.
My parents are Roman Catholic, and they assumed that I would remain a virgin until my wedding night. That didn't happen. I chose not to wait. I decided to have sex at 17. So they did not have a sex talk with me at all. I figured it out early on in my childhood what sex was and etc through my parents last pregnancy with my little brother. On further information on sex and sex related issues, i self taught myself through the internet and the sex education offered at school. I managed to get myself on birth control on my own at 18. I'm now 22 going on 23 in June. I'm a married woman as of next Saturday (May 27). I will still remain on BC even into my marriage, until we're 100% ready to become parents for life.
Both my partner and I want to be very different from my parents when it comes to talking about sex. We want to discuss sex and sex related issues with our kids when they are young, know that there's protection available with condoms, hormonal birth control, and etc. Of course, they are able to make their own decisions on when they choose to have sex themselves. Kids should not live in the fear of discussing about sex and having sex. I want my kids to be positive about sex, be knowledgeable about it, and have safe sex regardless if it happens before marriage or after.
Jane, I'm with you with this following statement that you made: "I feel like kids should be able to play with their toys in the living room while their parents have sex upstairs, and they're not weirded out by it at all because sex is such a natural thing in their lives. And that way, if they're comfortable with the idea of their parents having sex, they'll probably be more comfortable asking their parents about sex and not have to rely on friends.". I totally agree. We should have more open parents in this world! Kids should not be sheltered on sex and sexually related issues!
My son is five and has been absolutely obsessed with human anatomy since he was three. He has all sorts of anatomy books -- for children, for highschoolers, for med students -- so discussions of body functions are just second nature with us. I never sugarcoated things with him, either; it was his penis or his scrotum or his testicles, never his wee-wee or his privates or his any-other-term-other-than-the-correct-ones. I've lucked out in this respect, because we'll never have to have that awkward Talk, other than the safer sex talk, and I don't see that being a problem for us either.
Should I ever bring another child into this family, I'm going to do things the same way -- proper terms, direct answers when questions are asked, etcetera.
-------------------- "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long" Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000
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absolutely. any information for children would probably be a big benefit to their confidence, as half of the adolescent stress people go through is due to their bodies.
Infact now that i think back to being in lower school, i really would have been in a much better position had i known more about sex. I used to think that flashing girls would make them attracted to me (i was very young! like 7 years old! i don't think anyone was too traumatised). Oh my how embarassing. lol.
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