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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Pregnant Possibly (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Pregnant Possibly
koolkitty91
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Hi, I will start off in saying that i'm only 13 and a half, and I've had my period since i was 11. So, on the 2nd, in the lighter stage of my period, i went to a party, and had sex in a pool. The guy was fully inserted, so i was wondering if i could be pregnant. Should i take a test? Where can i buy a test w/out my mom knowing? How much do good, but cheap, ones cost? THANKS!
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Gwen 11
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There's a chance you could be pregnant, but a test is the only way to know for sure. Usually pregnancy tests can detect the pregnancy hormone in your urine the day you miss your next period. You can get pregnancy tests at a nearby drug or grocery store (some stores sell them in packs of multiple tests for a little more money, so you can take one when you miss your period, and if it shows up negative, take another a week after to be sure. They're usually around nine or ten dollars for one and a little more for the boxes with two or three tests... (which is cheaper than going back the next week to get another one for another ten dollars because you're still worried...plus it will also save you the trouble of going back again without anyone knowing what you're getting). Trust me, get a box with a couple. :-)

[This message has been edited by Gwen 11 (edited 02-13-2006).]


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koolkitty91
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All right. I had my older brother take me to Walmart, i told him i had to buy some candy for school, so he dropped me off, and parked. i found the tests, and bought a box of 2 for 14.99. I also bought candy so he wouldn't think i completely lied. I'm going to take the test in the morning before school, and see what it says. thanks, and come back for more help soon please.
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Gwen 11
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I'd actually probably wait about three or four more days before you take the first test. I think it might be a little too early tomorrow morning. It's only been 11 days since you had sex, and usually it can detect the hormone either two weeks after you had sex or the day you miss your period, as far as I know. You might not want to waste the test.

I know what you're going through. I'll be here to help.

[This message has been edited by Gwen 11 (edited 02-13-2006).]


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koolkitty91
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Thank you.

If you dont mind me asking, how old were you when you pregnant? Did u keep the baby? There is no doubt in my mind that i'm keeping the baby. I wrote a paper on abortion. You can see is here: -- edited --

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-13-2006).]


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Gwen 11
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Actually, I've never been pregnant. But I have had some very close calls! -_-

I think it's great that you are confident in your decision to keep the baby if you are in fact pregnant. It's a good thing that you know for sure what you want for yourself and the baby. I share similar views on abortion and respect your choice very much. If I were to acidentally become pregnant, I know my boyfriend would be an amazing father. I just started on the pill though, to be safer. Have you thought about it?


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Heather
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koolkitty, I edited your link because Scarleteen is a pro-choice site. It's very difficult for people making these choices to go anywhere where they aren't inundated by anti-choice approaches, so we like to let this be one of the places people can come where they know that ANY legal choice available to them will be respected.

So, please don't outlink to antichoice sentiments in that way again, especially without telling anyone that's what it is. Thanks.

And a home pregnancy test CAN be taken as early as tomorrow and net accurate results, if your risk was on the 2nd, and it is a test which states it is of a high sensitivity and can give early results.

As well, you'll need to schedule a full STI screening sometime in the next month: statistically, your risks of STIs are even higher than they are of becoming pregnant, and some STIs can cause very serious long-term health issues if untreated, so don't blow that off.

And obviously, you'll also want to evaluate your choices in the future: at 13, it's unlikely you have your own income, good sexual/pre-natal healthcare, or your parents OK on them paying to raise another kid they weren't planning on, not to mention the other health risks unprotected sex puts you at, as well as emotional risks.


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koolkitty91
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Thank you Miz Scarlet and Gwen 11 for your advice. I'm truly sorry about posting that link, as I totally understand where you are coming from.
I'll tell my mom tonight about my pregnancy, so I'll need luck for that one. I've read articles on telling parents about pregnancy, so I'll do my best.
I'll definetely get screening, and I'll talk to the guy i slept with, tomorrow, when I'll know if i am pregnant.
Gwen 11, I've never had sex before, so I never thought about the pill. I guess I'll have to though.
I also have question. Is there a difference between STD's and STI's?

Thanks for all your help.

[This message has been edited by koolkitty91 (edited 02-13-2006).]


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Gwen 11
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I would definately look into starting the pill, or at least using other forms of protection in the future. I was irresponsible with other forms of birth control, and I'm glad I finally made the choice to go on it.

You seem very mature for your age. I wish you luck with everything. Please keep me posted on the results.


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koolkitty91
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Thanks Gwen for all your great uplifting comments. Well, i told my mom. The first thing she did was cry, but then she yelled, then she was flustered. She was mostly shocked that i was having sex, but i told her it was only once, and she was still a little mad. she then told me to remember how old she is. I said, "You're 30. OH RIGHT, 30" Ya, she was only 16 when she got pregnant with me. She said i could keep it if i wanted, and she would help me. I said I wanted to, but i didn't know 100% if i was pregnant, she said to use the test tomorrow. So i think i will take the test tomorrow and update you. THANK YOU ALL!!! I have to go talk
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Heather
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STD is an older term. STI is the most current. But they mean the same thing: infections which are sexually transmitted.

And just FYI? Should you choose to remain sexually active, again, please do not only be concerned with pregnancy, or leap on the pill figuring that takes care of everything. You will ALSO need to consider safer sex and use latex barriers.

Once you get through this current crisis, I'd encourage you to take a lookie at this: Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist. It'd also be a good one to share with your Mom so you two can talk about everything on it: it sounds like you two have an opportunity for some pretty excellent communication.

Ah, I lied. Still one more thing: really, here's hoping you got lucky this time. But if you DID become pregnant, be sure not to wait to get started on pre-natal care, which you can see the same OB/GYN for as you see for those STI screenings. Your age -- there's a pretty big difference physiologically for most women between being thirteen and being 16 -- puts both you and a child at some very serious health risks should you choose to carry a pregnancy to term. Pre-natal care can't take care of all of those, but it can make a mighty big difference.


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Gwen 11
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I'm so glad your mom is so supportive. That is a blessing!

Miz Scarlet is right though. I'm lucky enough to be in a safe, tested monogamous relationship. Pregnancy is not the only thing you have to worry about..

[This message has been edited by Gwen 11 (edited 02-13-2006).]


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koolkitty91
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All right. Sorry I couldn't post anything yesterday, the 14th, I was out all day. I got a Valentine's Day surprise. I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping it. I went to an OB/GYN app. for a screening, and also for pre-natal app, which my mom scheduled the night i told her. I found out that, thank God, I don't have any STI's, which is good.

Miz Scarlet, my OB/GYN said the same things said, and i realize all the things were right. Thank you all for caring soo much, and I'll find out at my next app. more, and possibly the gender, not sure. I'm going back in about a month. Is it to soon to tell the sex?


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Heather
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Yes, it's far too soon to find out the sex. You have to wait for that until around 16-20 weeks of pregnancy.

It's too soon, actually, to tell most of what you've said here.

It's also too soon -- and your GYN surely explained this, as this is how it works -- to consider yourself clear of all STIs. If your app't was just yesterday, you can't even have those results back yet. The most you can know is that your cervix looks okay via the visual exam, only. Pap smear results take time as well.

On top of that, your risk was a mere 12 days ago. Some STIs manifest that soon, but many do not. You'll need to repeat a full screening in another month or two, no matter your screening results when they do actually come in.

Also, blood pregnancy tests via a doctor don't give you same-day results. Plus, blood tests can usually tell you an accurate result 6-8 days after ovulation. If your last menstrual period was just winding down on the 2nd, that'd -- on average -- have you ovulating around the 9th or 10th, so it'd be a bit unusual even with a blood test for a doctor to give you a verified positive this soon even when it DID come back from the lab -- and at least not advise you return for repeat testing a little bit later.

So, something is amiss here.

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-15-2006).]


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koolkitty91
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All right, i got that. I guess I understood the doctor. I remember her saying something about that pap smear results wouldn't be right away, and I did forget to add the STI things, she said, "Right now, nothing showed up, have your mom reschedule in one month for more testing" I'll talk to my mom to see exactly everything else.

I really don't want to wait 14 more weeks to find out if it's a boy or girl. I really dont care as long as it's healthy, but I sorta want a girl, as i've always dreamed of having a little girl and cute little outfits.

Thank you Miz Scarlet for correcting me. I really didn't mean to post false info, sorry.


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Gwen 11
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I guess I should start this post with a very reluctant "congratulations", even though your test may have yeilded a false positive, and since you haven't gotten the true results back from the blood test.

Sweetheart, if you find out for sure you're pregnant, you have much more to worry about here than just "cute little outfits."

Since this is a difficult time for you, (and I understand that, because I have a friend who is 16 and has a three month old baby), I want to tell you that you can get through it. I beleive in you.

[This message has been edited by Gwen 11 (edited 02-15-2006).]


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Karybu
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Gwen, I realize you're trying to help, but that last post was awfully harsh. Questioning her level of maturity is completely inappropriate. Koolkitty's pregnancy hasn't even been confirmed for sure yet, so when/if it is confirmed that she is indeed pregnant, then she can start worrying about saving up for hospital fees, etc. (Although how she's supposed to get a job as you advise, I don't know, as she's only 13 and thus not legally employable anywhere in the United States.) Really, your post was seriously intense and you need to back off a bit.

(One note, as well: posting your email address is against the guidelines you agreed to when you registered - please edit it out of your post or a mod will do it for you.)


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koolkitty91
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Karybu, thanx. I was a little taken aback by Gwen's post, even though she was just being real. I know i'll have to pay for stuff, but my mom is very suuportive and "Will help in any way i can, even with money." I'm going to umm, calm down, if u will, as i confused and stressed at the same time.

Oh, Karybu, was that e-mail somment to me or Gwen?


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Gwen 11
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So sorry about that sweetie, I didn't mean to be edgy. I just wish you the best and it's really amazing how helpful your mom is being. You're really strong for handling this so well. Any word from the father?
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Karybu
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The email comment was to Gwen. It's for safety reasons, really. If anybody needs to review the board guidelines, they're here.

Good luck with everything, koolkitty - we're here for you if you need anything. It's awesome that your mom is being so supportive; I hope everything continues to go well for you.


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Aria51
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Actually, I don't think Gwen is too far off base here -- I've been there before, and I wish I had taken more than a few moments to think about cost and whatnot before I'd jumped into keeping my baby.

Yes, that's terrible, I'm terrible to say such a thing... but it's a little hard to think or say anything else sometimes when you're up to your eyeballs in debt, and have a five-year-old with more and more special needs cropping up all the time.

I really do hope it works out better for you than it has for me -- and I'm doing better than a lot of parents I know. Pardon my harshness here, but...

Being a mom is hard. It's not glamorous, it's not fun. It's exhausting, emotionally, physically, and financially. Yes, I love it. Yes, it's rewarding... but it is never, ever as easy as invincible teenage minds think it is.

[This message has been edited by Aria51 (edited 02-15-2006).]


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koolkitty91
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Thank you, all 3 of you. I have talked to father, he said he would talk with hid parents, and might help, but not financially. I'll get more into tomorrow. I have homework, sorry to cut it short THANKS!
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Heather
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I only have a moment, but again, we're dealing with a lack of factual knowledge per your last post.

It is not OPTIONAL in the U.S.for a man who gets a woman pregnant to deline financial support. He doesn't get to choose in that: he is required by law to do so, and if he is a minor, he and his family are. But again, some of this is seriously premature without an actual, positive test.

And I'd prefer that perhaps we even suspend some of this discussion until that is actually prersent, for several reasons which are likely obvious.

(On the minor issue: Gwen, however intense in tone, I think a lot of what you said was very well founded, and young women like Aria who struggle every minute of every day to parent well are a fine testament to that. BUT. At 13? As karybu mentioned, this user can't just get a job. It's not actually legal for her to work. All things given, her mother may already end up facing negligence issues with this matter -- yet another odd issue to be left out of this unconsidered by an adult -- and having a 13-year-old in illegal labor would certainly compound that.)


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koolkitty91
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Ok, now it's official, i have the form in my hand. I am pregnant!! For sure. I talked to the dad and showed him your posts, and my family and his family got together, and they said they'd help, but only since it was a law. (His mom hates me, but his dad loves me.) Thanks for your help. I'm gonna have a long 9 months ahead of me
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1337
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Not to sound rude, but you have a lot more then nine months ahead of you. Since your thirteen, your child will be about 5 when your done highshool, and if you plan on going to college that'll be very difficult with a 5 year old child.

Good luck anyway.


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Gwen 11
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If you have a goal and a vision of what you want your life to be like, there is a 95% chance it will come true, if you are persistent, resourceful, and driven.

Make a list of short term and long term goals. Keep them somewhere where you can see them every day: on your fridge, or on your bedroom door when you close it. It will help you stay focused on the important things. I promise this will help you through this tough time. It has helped me through some tough times. It's all about knowing you can get through rough patches in life, knowing that you have something to LOOK FORWARD to. Try incorporating goals for how you want to raise the baby. But don't forget about goals that you want to acheive for yourself as well. Tell me how it goes.

I think you can follow through on this. I think you can be a successful mother, student, and daughter at the same time. I believe in you! Just make good choices. I know it's cliche, but you just have to put your mind to it. Make it a conscious goal for the next few years of your life to mature with this situation...its going to help mature you so much. That's something to be thankful for. I also hope that you will someday find a special guy that will love you and your child. That will be a blessing as well.

Best of luck to you, and of course, keep updating. I'd love to hear details on how everything is going!!!


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koolkitty91
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thanks Gwen. I took your advice about the list, and when i started making them, i couldn't stop. I actually think they're working, i feel a little more driven, and not as scared. it's only been 3 1/2 weeks, but it sort of hit me that i'm pregnant, but i'm sure it'll come more when i'm in labor. I will keep posting.

The other day I recieved preliminary results about STI's. It said that so far I'm clear, but i'm not out of the woods. Well it didn't say it it those words, it said: Looks fine so far, but more may show up later. So, that's good, but could be bad. I'm soo anxious to find out the sex of the baby, in about 12 1/2 weeks!!

THANKS SOO MUCH EVERYONE!!

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-26-2006).]


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Heather
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Actually, what STI results look like will be a very non-verbal list of each STI, usually with a check box to denote positive or negative results, specific for each STI. A few lines may be at the bottom of the card or report to leave room for nothing if, for instance, some tests are still outstanding, if any were nonconclusive, or if anything else was noticed during the exam your clinician may have felt was relevant.

"Looks fine so far," is not what appears on the sent results of a bonafide STI screening. And by now, you should have the results of most, if not all of those screens, in that standard medical format. (And having grown up in Chicago myself, I assure you that any bonafide doctor or clinic will be using that format.)


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koolkitty91
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Sorry i haven't updated lately. my computer broke! oops, it was my fault, but i didn't tell my mom that. As for Miz Scarlet. I stand corrected. There was yellow sheet attached that was written by my doctor, (didn't see the tiny print in the corner), and those were her thoughts and words. I only have a couple shhets of results, my mom had the rest, unbeknownst to me.

Gwen, I'm still using those lists i put up, and they work wonders! I feel more driven than last time i posted, and more at ease, somehow.

Only about 3 months till i find out the sex, if i make it that far. I had some spotting earlier this week,(I thought i was miscarrying, went to hospital) and i have to take a week off school for resting. Darn, I'm starting ISAT's too! That doesn't really matter though, as long as my baby's fine. Got to go! THANKS!!

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Gwen 11
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I'm really glad that the goal lists are helping. Keep adding to them. It will motivate you more and more!

Good luck with school and everything coming up!

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Gwen 11
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I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post this, so forgive me if it isn't.

I was browsing on the Sex Basics forum and I found a post from a user named morninsun86...

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=000814;p=2#000040

This is the same material from the "paper on abortion" website that koolkitty posted in her third post in this topic. I have a photographic memory.

The user morninsun86's last post at ST was about getting her first ever period.

Unless this is a strange cooincidence, koolkitty wasted a lot of people's time who were trying to help with a preganancy situation that was potentially made up (possibly for her own ammusement?).

This would certainly account for a lot of the misinformation posted here that Miz Scarlet had to keep correcting, especially with the blood pregnancy test.

Again, forgive me if this is the wrong place to post this...or if this seems too forthcoming, but I thought it was important since the SAME EXACT material had to get censored out of this site on TWO seperate occasions. Just thought I'd bring it to someone's attention.

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Karybu
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The appropriate way to bring something like this to someone's attention is by email: boards@scarleteen.com. According to the guidelines:

quote:
If another poster isn't abiding by the rules or is harassing you, you should inform us immediately at: boards @ scarleteen.com


[ 03-18-2006, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: karybu ]

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Gwen 11
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Thanks, I jotted an email.
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Heather
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(Just a note for you here, Gwen, since my email is overflowing at the moment, and I'm even more behind on it than usual, thanks to my impending cross-country move from hell. Also, I do prefer to call out clear cases of fraud on the boards, just to raise a little awareness, and so users who got in any way involved with a "faker" can see what happened, rather than worrying when someone mysteriously vanished.

This is indeed -- and seemed from the onset -- a clear fraud issue here, especially given that someone 13 and a half could only have registered here six months before, so this new info would makes it pretty much a given. The fact that those two users have the exact same IP address makes it an absolute.

Who knows the motivation: sites like ours do tend to end up with a decent amount of pregnancy "fakers." I'm willing to bet it's less for someone's amusement than it is for someone's loneliness, need for atention, or a need to live out a pregnancy or crisis fantasy. Doesn't excuse the fraud, though.

Generally, even when we strongly suspect -- but don't yet know for sure -- someone is fabricating or fibbing, we try and address the questions anyhow, for a reader who might be in a similar predicament who IS being truthful. That still doesn't always make it easy to stomach if you helped someone out and had any feelings of personal investment in it. And it doesn't give back the time you spent trying to help, and you were very generous with that here. If it's any consolation, there may well have been plenty of readers who gleaned something from the things you said here.

If you want/need it, we do have a support thread for exactly this issue right here: http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=000410

Thanks for bringing this to our attention. I'm banning both handles and the IP, and koolkitty can email if she can clarify the situation at some point, but sparing poroof of an evil twin, there's little to repair here.)

[ 03-18-2006, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68030 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gwen 11
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Good. I'm glad my observation wasn't a misunderstanding. It really sucks because right from the getgo I had a lot of concern for her.
Bummer.

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