Two weeks ago, when I'm pretty sure I was at my most fertile, my boyfriend and I had sex. We used a condom, but there was occasional genital-to-genital contact without it (he never went in, but there was spooning, etc.) I know, I know, I should have used a condom for those too, but I didn't. I know my risk is relatively low (though not impossible) for becoming pregnant, but my tummy's being feeling a little...different. I don't know how to explain it exactly. Anyway, I was due for my period around this time and it hasn't come yet. I don't know for sure, but I'm leaning towards the fact that yes, I may be pregnant.

I know I need to see a doctor, etc. I want to see a doctor. I know my decision, even though it really hurts my heart. I want to get an abortion if I'm pregnant. I'm not at a period in my life where I'm ready or capable to have a baby (I'm only 17), and with college apps, senior year, and an influx of just youth, I can't picture my life with a baby. Not to mention that (and I swear, this is not a dramatization) I would be kicked out of my house should I get pregnant.

So yes. I know I want to have an abortion. I'm not sure how I'll pay for it because I don't have a job but I want to figure that out. My boyfriend has a job and I'm sure he can help. I know I know - if you can't deal with the consequences of sex, don't have it. But I'm seventeen and I'm making mistakes as I go along here.

So I know I can have an abortion without my parents knowing about it (I'm in California) and I plan on talking to my boyfriend about it soon - I'm just going to wait out one more day for my period. I just want to know about facilities near where I live - I'm on the Peninsula, in the Bay Area. I can't seem to find a comprehensive list online and I just...don't know where to go. I would really appreciate someone helping me out with that - the only Planned Parenthood I know of apparently only deals in birth control and not...well...not the aftermath of it failing.

I also just want to know what abortion entails at this stage, if in fact, as I fear, I am pregnant. Is it surgical? How will I feel? What kind of medications will I need? Cost?

I also just want someone to talk to, I guess. I know I sound pretty rational on here, but honestly, I've been up at nights crying about this. It's not an easy decision that I'm making here, but one I know I have to make.

So basically that's it. Where do I go, what's it like, can I talk to anyone?

I feel like I'm going to explode from the worry and I haven't talked to anyone I know yet. I'm afraid to. I don't want to be judged. So it's bubbling up inside of me and I feel close to tears all the time. I can't think about anything else.

Your period is due and late. So you go take a pregnancy test.

If the result is positive, THEN you think about this.

But if not, all of this stress and worry and freakout and panic is for naught. And from what you subscribed, your chances of pregnancy are actually not high. So just go take the test first.

(Though, perhaps obviously, thinking about what you would do, being prepared more in adavance, and taking better precautions is still a good idea.)

I don't know why, my period's been late before when I've had sex, but this time something feels off. Different. I don't quite know what it is, but I'm afraid it's one of THOSE feelings that you get... yeah.

I'm gonna take a test or visit a Planned Parenthood or something to see as soon as I can (I have no money and no car so it's kind of tough for me) but that's the plan.