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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Is it wrong?

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Author Topic: Is it wrong?
MandyNJohn
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I am 16 years old. I am ready to have a baby. I want to be able to take care of a human being and make the baby the main thing in my life. The thing is my boyfriend doesnt want one right now. I respect his choices but I still cant help to wonder what it would be like to have a baby of our own. I feel that I am emotionally, physically, and mentally ready to give birth to and to care for a baby. Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were in the 7th grade and now we will be Juniors in high school. WE both know that we are going to be together forever and eventually marriage and a baby will come but I wish the time was now. Is that wrong?

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*_:Mandy:_*


Posts: 3 | From: Selma, North Carolina, USA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Wanting kids is one thing, but you have a partner. And that child will be his as well. Of course he should have a say in whether or not he wants to have children right now. After all, when his name appears on that birth certificate -- whether or not you want to obligate him in the child's care -- the *State* will make him responsible for that child's well-being. What's he's trying so hard to tell you is **he is not ready** Please respect that.

Wait it out when *both* of you are ready for this undertaking.

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"In God we trust. All others must pay cash..." faw-choon kookie say.


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kythryne
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Is it wrong to want to have a baby and to wish that it could happen now? No, not at all; in fact, it's really quite a common thing among young women.

From a practical standpoint, I can tell you that it'd be much easier to wait until you're both out of school and relatively stable before you start having children. While a good number of teens do very successfully and pull off parenting while they're teenagers, it's a lot of work and responsibility and a lot of money, and we're always going to advise that if you have the choice, you should wait until you're out of school and settled down a bit.

Additionally, since your boyfriend doesn't want to have a baby at this point in time, you need to keep in mind that going against his wishes or trying to pressure him into it could put a very severe strain on the relationship. So it's very good that you've been respecting his choices.

In the interim, why not see if you can find some way to have babies and/or small children in your life? Take up babysitting, volunteer at a daycare or a preschool, or if you have any friends with babies, see if you can be an "auntie" to their babies. It's not the same as having your own, but it should still help with the baby cravings, and also give you a better idea of what having a baby 24/7 is like so you'll be better prepared when the time comes for you to have your own.

And lastly, we've had a few really good discussions about this in the past, so if you do a search or just dig around a bit in this forum, you'll likely find some other posts.

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Kythryne Aisling
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.


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confused333
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I felt like that a little while ago. I wanted a baby sooo bad. I mean they are so cute and lovable and sweet. But then I realized that I want to have a good job, a stable environment to raise it in, and I want to be married.

I understand how you feel, but do you really think having a baby now would make your life happier?

And like everyone else has said, your partner doesn't want one. So basically the best thing to do is wait until you are older.

Hopefully this is just a phase like I want through a couple months ago.

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Why does a rose represent love, when a rose always dies??

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MandyNJohn
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Confused333~Why isnt your post showing up?
Posts: 3 | From: Selma, North Carolina, USA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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hit reload. if that doesn't work, clear out your cookies,

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"In God we trust. All others must pay cash..." faw-choon kookie say.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MandyNJohn
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Member # 9307

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Whoopsie! Nevermind..sorry
But anyway, I have felt like this for quite some time now. Every since my boyfriend and I started having sex. But with all of the post I understand that it is right to wait until he is ready. Maybe he will change his mind, maybe he wont..whatever he feels is right for him is ok with me. Even though I want and yearn for a baby of our own..i respect him too much to go against is wishes

Posts: 3 | From: Selma, North Carolina, USA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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