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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Wisconsin Teen Dies After Giving Birth In Secret

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Author Topic: Wisconsin Teen Dies After Giving Birth In Secret
Aria51
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This article from the SF Gate is pretty unsettling.

Essentially, what happened was a 19 year-old college student gave birth in a bathroom stall in her dorm. She bled to death.

She hid her pregnancy, and no-one realized what was happening; while she was giving birth, she told concerned housemates that she was just "sick".

Her dorm was within walking distance to a hospital. Her newborn baby girl survived until Sunday morning, and both have since been buried in a private funeral.

----

This makes me sad, for a number of reasons. The thought of this poor girl hiding her pregnancy and giving birth in a dangerous situation has been haunting me for a couple of days.

The reason it hits so hard is because this could have been prevented if she had come forward and admitted she was pregnant. Hospitals can stop excessive bleeding -- something that killed women during childbirth many years ago. I bled excessively when I gave birth, but I survived because I had medical professionals watching over me.

I guess why I'm bringing this up is because I'm afraid there might be someone lurking out there who is hiding her pregnancy. And to that girl, if she exists, I feel I must say this.

You may be hiding your pregnancy because you think you'll get in trouble with your parents, or your friends will reject you, or you'll be kicked out of school. Whatever your reason is, it's not good enough to risk your own life. Denying that you're pregnant will not make the pregnancy go away. Hiding it will not make it go away. The sooner you bring it out into the open, the better chances you have of things going well. If you do not want your baby, you can start the adoption process before the baby is even born. If you want to keep it, you can apply for WIC and other services, take birthing classes, and gather necessities for your baby before the baby is even born. If you want to have an abortion, there's only so much time you have before that window of opportunity is closed.

If you think you are pregnant, take a test as soon as possible. Get yourself to a doctor, and start analyzing your choices before all those choices are no longer available to you. If you are pregnant right now and are hiding it, I'd suggest you find someone you can trust and tell them about your situation ASAP. Take responsibility, so you won't end up bleeding to death while others pass you by, unaware of your plight.

Discuss.


Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glitter695
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Very very sad story. One thing that I am wondering is how you cannot tell that someone is pregnant, especially when you live with the girl???

It said "The roommate, who was not identified, said Hubbard had gained some weight but she didn't know Hubbard was pregnant." <~~~That just seems a little weird to me. Does it seems weird for anyone else?

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ErinK
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Well, not every woman gains a lot of weight during her pregnancy, and depending on what kind of frame you have, it might just look like weight gain and not like pregnancy until it gets very close to the end of term.

But I don't know if this is what happened here or not. I've certainly had some pregnant friends who weren't "visibly" pregnant for a long time into their pregnancies -- and then I had a colleague at work who, due to a very tiny frame, looked like she'd swallowed a beach ball by about her fourth month.

Erin


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Stargazer23
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well, actually, I would like to add something about not being able to tell. When my cousin was pregnant, she only wore long, baggy clothing. ((She gave her baby up for adoption, but she didn't want ppl to know she was pregnant. Yes, her parents knew)) Also, I believe there's something mental, too. If you are in denial about somthing, you won't reveal it. Hense, she wouldn't have gotten very big. I had another friend that this happened with, as goofy as it sounds. Presense of mind does have something to do with our bodies.
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mazz
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quote:
Originally posted by Stargazer23:
Also, I believe there's something mental, too. If you are in denial about somthing, you won't reveal it. Hense, she wouldn't have gotten very big. I had another friend that this happened with, as goofy as it sounds. Presense of mind does have something to do with our bodies.

I completely agree with that, In fact, i dont know if this is true, but i'll share it anyway. One of my teachers at school told us that when he used to teach at another school, one of the girls became obsessed with a male teacher, and told everyone that they had had sex. The girl was convinced that she was pregnant to her teacher, and she began to beleive her own lies. Apparently, the girl gained weight and looked as if she was pregnant, and the teacher was presumed to be guilty. However, it was later discovered that the girl wasnt pregnant and that she had fabricated the whole story, and begun to beleive it. I dont know if thats true, but if it is, its certainly a good example of how the mind can control the body.

[This message has been edited by mazz (edited 02-06-2002).]


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glitter695
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I still dont believe that you cant tell that someone you are close to is preg. My sister was stick thin, and she didnt gain that much weight but you could tell she was preg. Even if she wore big shirts you could tell.

I just think that someone knew about her preg. but they didnt say anything to anyone.

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*~*~12/3/99*~*
Bobaroony & Erica Bearica
<3 love forever!

Monk N Bear~ Best Friends Forever! ~Luv ya babe!

*~*Scarleteen Advocate*~*

“One ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Heather Corinna


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Aria51
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Really, every woman is different, and every woman carries her baby in a different way. I carried mine high and out, my friend Ashley carried hers across and in. It was impossible to tell Ashley was *pregnant* until just about a week before her baby was born -- it seriously just looked like she'd put on a bit of a spare tire. And the people at college didn't know her -- they could have just thought she was getting the Freshman 15. It's completely possible that she hid her entire pregnancy.

But we've gotten off the subject a little.


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ErinK
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To try and bring it back on topic a little, let me ask a hypothetical question:

If your college roommate (and most US freshmen don't end up living with their friends, but instead get assigned a random roommate who they don't know well) was gaining weight, seemed to have some of the signs of later pregnancy, would you intervene? What would you say to her?

I think that situations like this can be prevented if people are willing to take a stand and help others, and I'm wondering what any of you would do in this situation.

My freshman year, many of my roommates made incredibly irresponsible sexual choices that could have lead to pregnancy and/or STDs (but didn't), and I was too afraid to tell them (and didn't know, often, myself) what could happen to them and where they could go for help. If I had it over again to do differently, I definitely would've said something.

And if I thought one of my friends, colleagues, or anyone else in my life was pregnant right now, you can bet that I'd be in there advocating that they get care.

Erin


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