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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Dealing with pent up sexual energy?

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Author Topic: Dealing with pent up sexual energy?
Member # 46291

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5-ish months ago I went through one of those heart-wrenching, unexpected breakups that leave you screaming in bed for a couple of weeks. I suppose I'm better now, except for all of this sexual frustration. It's actually rather getting in the way of my life and is upsetting my family, as it makes me really depressed and irritable. Masturbation really doesn't help; physical pleasure is not what I like about sex. I'm also not ready to fall in love again... jesus what can I do? Is it so wrong to sleep with people one doesn't know or trust? Or like for that matter?

-Dix Dix

Posts: 11 | From: Illinois | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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There's nothing wrong with sleeping with someone you don't know very well. But I'd say that it's a bad idea to sleep with someone you don't trust or don't like. For one thing, that can be pretty risky both emotionally and physically. It's also pretty much bound to be a crappy experience. And if you're looking for something beyond physical pleasure, sleeping with someone you have no connection with whatsoever is also not likely to give you what you are looking for.

It looks what you're looking for right now is some middle ground: someone that you like and have a good connection with, but not someone you're in a committed relationship with.

[ 06-24-2011, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: September ]

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 46291

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I suppose that makes the most sense, but that sounds like a hard kind of person to come by - I feel like I could ruin a possible friendship that way.

Hm. Well something's gotta give, I guess.

Thanks for the help!

-Dix Dix

Posts: 11 | From: Illinois | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Can I ask plainly if you think you'd really WANT to have sex and get what you're looking for out of it with someone who you don't see as at least a potential friend? Who you don't at least trust and like?

I'm not ever going to put universals on these things and say anything like that stranger-sex will, de facto, always be a bad experience (or that all other kinds of sex will, de facto, always be good experiences), because I know that is not true.

However, we do know that it's certainly a lot more risky when it comes to physical and emotional safety, AND that if what you're looking for includes things like some kind of interpersonal connection bigger than what you have with yourself, stranger sex is usually not a usual place to find that.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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