Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Concerned I may have a mental health disorder

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Concerned I may have a mental health disorder
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 5 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm worried that I may have a mental health disorder such as depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder. I am aware that this is not what this site deals with. I was wondering if anyone knew of any websites or forums that they find helpful in dealing with problems like this (preferably a place like Scarleteen where I can feel safe asking questions and etc). I was also wondering how I should go about talking to my parents. I've told my boyfriend and he has helped me somewhat, he suffers from an anxiety/panic disorder so he understands some of what I'm going through, however it is not fair to place the weight of being the only person who knows on his shoulders, and all he can do is give me emotional support, which is not going to be enough to solve this. My father suffered from depression in his early twenties and I believe my mother suffered from anxiety (I know she used to take medicine for it) and there is a history of these disorders and bipolar disorder in my family. It is therefore, not to say that they are inexperienced in dealing with or uneducated about these things. The problem is that for a reason I find hard to explain I am afraid to tell them. I think one of my biggest concerns is what would happen if I told them and it turned out that I was wrong, I don't want to make a big deal if it's really nothing. Also, if there is something wrong then by telling them I will go to the doctor, etc and find out that something is wrong. I think the issue I am having is that telling them will likely resulting in me finding out whether I have a disorder or not. Also it is hard to find time alone with both of them (I have a little sister and they have demanding work schedules) to talk. What can I do? Thank you in advance for any advice.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ultimately, a website isn't the best place to go when you're not certain what you may have, just like when you think you may be physically ill it really isn't. Your best place to start is going to be with a general doctor or mental health professional.

I don't understand why you're thinking telling or not telling your parents is what will tell you what kind of mental illness, if any, you may have. can you try and explain that to me if I'm understanding you right in thinking that's what you're suggesting?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What I am saying is that right now I don't know what is wrong with me, if anything. When I talk to my parents they will set up a doctors appointment for me and the doctor will diagnose me or tell me that nothing is wrong (I know that that is oversimplified). But if I don't tell my parents then I won't go to the doctor and can't be diagnosed one way or another. As comforting as it would be to find out if and what was wrong with me, I'm scared of finding out, so I'm avoiding telling my parents.

Also, I'm concerned that I may have social anxiety or social phobia which is a fear of social situation due to fear of being judged. Feelings that fit the description of this are also part of why I am afraid to tell them.

Does that clarify what I said? (Also, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about telling them, so perhaps my confusion is coming through in my words)

[ 04-12-2011, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: moonlight bouncing off water ]

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know that you can arrange to see a doctor or counselor yourself if you'd prefer, right?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How would I go about doing that? I live in a small town so there aren't a lot of doctors and I'm not a fan of my family doctor (although I would go to her rather than do nothing). I wouldn't know where to tell my parents I would be at the time (although perhaps I could say that I would be at my boyfriends as he knows) and I would be afraid that the doctor's office would call the house to remind me about my appointment and my parents would find out that way. It also doesn't eliminate the fact that I would have to tell them eventually. But it does seem like a good idea if I can't convince myself to tell them soon.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It just sounds to me like talking to them about this is so loaded for you, especially before you even have some sense of what your diagnosis might be, you know?

Your family doctor is one option, and ethically is responsible for safeguarding your privacy. When you make an appointment, you can always ask them not to call you at home (anyone can do that with a healthcare provider, and again, they need to respect that).

If you'd like other options for seeking out care, I'd be happy to poke around for you if you don't mind sharing your postal code. I just may wind up doing it in the morning rather than today, since I'm getting ready to wind down my workday.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm fine on the other options for now, but thank you. I think I will consider making an appointment with my doctor and then talking with my parents if I do have an issue. In your opinion would it be a good idea to have my boyfriend come along with me for moral support?

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If that's what you feel comfortable with, and he's up for that, sure.

You just may want to have your conversation with the doctor in private if you feel like there's anything at all you would not want to discuss in front of your boyfriend or might not be totally honest about were he there, rather than in the waiting room.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, I would probably have him wait in the waiting room, it's just that I don't want to be too dependent on him for help with this and I don't want him to feel pressured to come with me.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, you can frame it this way for him: you'd love it if he could come with you, but it's also important to you to have healthy boundaries in your relationship, and for him to have his own space, so if he'd rather not, you totally understand and are capable of doing this on your own.

That work?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It does thank you. And thank you for all your advice with this.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Glad to be of help. Just let me know how it goes and if you need any extra help navigating your way through any of this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I haven't made an appointment at the doctor's yet or done a whole lot more than think about this but I need to type out these things so the they will become solid, concrete and real. I need my mind to stop denying me the validity of these emotions. I think that the problem is social anxiety (social phobia) the description fits me perfectly. I haven't even said the words "social phobia" to anyone, or even out-loud to myself. I think I will call my boyfriend tonight and talk to him. I also might talk to the guidance counselor at school because they aren't allowed to tell any one what you say if you ask them not to so I only have to worry about the discussion with him. As I only know this guidance counselor as a guidance counselor (the other one is the director for a play I am in) I don't have to worry about how this will affect his perception of me in other situations. I will not allow myself to let this go, it will not go away if I pretend it isn't there.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi, moonlight. Talking to your guidance counsellor is definitely a good idea, they'll very likely be able to help you, and as you said, they're confidential. Don't feel rushed to make a doctor's appointment if you aren't comfortable with it yet; I think you should only do so when you feel more sure that's what you want to do. This is, after all, about you and your own feelings!

Talking to your boyfriend like you suggested, or someone else in your support network, is also a good idea; dealing with these kinds of emotions is very hard to do alone, and having supportive friends and/or family can be a great help to starting down the path of dealing with tough emotions and issues. So I think you're making some good decisions here, and I hope all goes well for you and you can start getting things sorted out and feeling better around all of this soon [Smile]

And as Heather said earlier, definitely feel free to continue updating us and let us know if you need more help getting through any of this.

[ 04-23-2011, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

Posts: 1299 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you, it is very reassuring to hear (all of) that. [Smile]

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No problem [Smile] Good luck!
Posts: 1299 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I talked to my boyfriend about my specific concerns and talked vaguely to my parents about the fact that I was feeling upset. Even though I don't feel great I'm starting to feel like there may be a way out of this.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3