posted
Hi Scarleteen, I started masterbating at the beginning of this week. I followed all your advice on it, read your book, and would always be clean, the only thing I haven't used yet is use lubricant, because I just haven't needed the use of it. Anyways, after the first day, well, night to be exact, the next day I had urges all day long, some were very strong too, like I could barely take it. It irritates me because I don't want to be doing it in the day, so instead it drives me insane. Does anyone have any advice about this and to calm my urges?
P.S. my period is coming up soon, so maybe that could be it, I don't know, just thought I'd add it.
posted
How long has this been going on for: weeks, months, longer....?
And when you do masturbate, do you find you're feeling pretty satisfied afterward, or not?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63699 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
You know, often when we start doing ANYTHING brand new that we really like doing, we can be a little obsessive about it. Whether it's a new hobby, something new we like to eat or a new friend or romantic relationship or a sexual activity, being hyperfocused on something shiny and new is pretty darn typical.
If this was something that had been going on for months or, more still, years, that'd be a different story. But since it's only been an issue for a few days, it truly is nothing that a) we'd have any concern about, but also b) that we could even advise you with. I don't think anyone has the answer yet when it comes to human feelings and behavior about how to get people to not be focused on something exciting and new.
So, you want to masturbate a lot and are thinking about it a lot: that's okay. You don't have to do it a lot, and if you want to focus on something else, then what you want to do is to immerse yourself as much as you can in whatever that something else is. If you're still a little distracted, no big deal, unless that something else involves operating heavy machinery or performing neurosurgery.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63699 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Oh, Heather, thank you! I really appreciate it. I might also try doing it in the morning, because after I do it I don't feel needy anymore, so if I am almost dying I'll try that, otherwise I'll try to control myself
Thanks again! And as always, I love your site/forum/book.
-------------------- Life, what can we do about it? Previous name was Kateson. Posts: 18 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
I'm about 110% sure you won't be "almost dying" from a sexual desire. It's simply not terminal, I promise. I totally get that when it's new and your sexuality feels like it's just waking up, it can feel pretty powerful, but it really only has so much power.
When you want to masturbate, it's okay to masturbate. When you don't want to or you don't feel good about it, it's okay not to: these desires do tend to come and go when we just let them, too.
And you're welcome! Glad to have been of help.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63699 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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