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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » I'm attracted to personality

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Author Topic: I'm attracted to personality
A person
Member # 51550

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I don't consider myself to be a "feminist" in the way that I think most people do.

From what I can gather, most people are "feminists" the same way they could be "vegetarians", "Christians" or "Muslims". That feminism is a philosophy that they believe and practice. They'll go out with a woman who is respectable, even if they're more attracted to some other woman.

I, on the other hand, feel like I am a feminist the same way that I am straight, male and human. As in; it's just kind of the way I am, the way I like stuff and there's not much I want to do to change it.

So, if I had to choose to go out with a girl who was physically attractive (the "generally accepted" attractiveness, perfect body, ext) and a girl who looked okay, but expressed her personality a lot, I would choose the latter. But not because I want to help maintain the reputation of females in the world (even though I do), but because I'm literally attracted to her personality.

If there's a girl my age with big wavy, fluffy hair, wearing--say--a blue turtleneck and black slacks, I would be completely attracted to her. Just because she appears so flippin weird. It's not just that I "respect" her boldness of expression, I'm physically turned-on by it.

Does anybody understand what I'm saying? And are there any other guys or girls who are like this? Because if this is a very common thing that applies to almost everybody, it SURE doesn't seem like it to me.

Posts: 4 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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I want to leave the floor open for other people to chime in here, but I want to start by saying that feminism is NOT about making political choices when it comes to dating.

Everyone should always be able to date the person they feel attracted to, provided that attraction is mutual.

All feminism means is that men and women are equal, and should be treated equally with respect. And dating someone you're not into because they seem like the more "respectable" choice isn't about equality, and it's not very respectful either.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Johnny D
Member # 51570

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I belive this is more "Human condition" that any sort of way to look at the world. We are in some aspect partly what we are born with and then part product of the enviornment we are developed in. Some of us are in opposition to our enviornemtn and others are in tune with it. Depending on the enviornment this can be a good or bad thing.

Personally it sounds to me like your just as normal as the person standing next to you and as diffrent as the next one as well. We are all the same yet soo diffrent.


Posts: 5 | From: Seattle | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 46362

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personal example, so you can add me to your list of proofs: a list of traits I find attractive in men include being about my height (not taller, which I'm supposed to want as a woman), being a bit chubby, muscles much less definite than the standard pictures would suggest, being feminist!, having bits of nonstandard gender expressions (just enough to show that he's not investing too much energy in policing himself), knowing how to cook, and vegans get 10 point in plus (because I associate it with kindness, self-control and being idealistic - and the hipocricy is that I'm not even vegetarian (haven't put the effort yet into it)). This is something 100% automatic - so much that I even was thinking the other day, that it's not nice of me to like less the guys that are free as hell about they gender expression, but just happen to be very butch - but well, I still DO have the right to like who I like, so too bad for them.
Posts: 124 | From: hungary | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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