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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Sex and body issues don't mix well.

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Author Topic: Sex and body issues don't mix well.
Member # 45365

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I had sex recently, and I've posted a few other topics about it. But a big problem I'm still having with it is my body issues. I feel like a best friend doesn't understand the problems I have with the situation because she's thin and athletic. I know she still has body issues, but she doesn't understand I'm scared of the guy I had sex with feeling really embarrassed about having sex with me because I'm bigger. I'm really embarrassed about my belly that kind of hangs over (if that makes sense). I'm really embarrassed someone knows how I look naked. I know I shouldn't feel that way. But I just wish so badly that I could just know what he thought about my body so I could stop worrying.

I guess I don't really have a question, but I need advice or someone to relate or...I just need opinions on the situation I guess.

Thank you [Smile]

Posts: 13 | From: United States | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This month, keepingitgreen, we're doing something we're calling Fat-Free February, meaning that we're asking users to take a month off from talking about feeling fat, wanting to lose weight, etc.

So, can we frame this a bit differently?

Maybe by talking about the fact that being a given size or shape actually doesn't mean a given person will automatically be more or less comfortable with their body? For instance, I have a couple friends who weigh over 300 pounds who have much more positive body image than some of my friends who weigh 120. And thin women also have body image issues, too. In other words, it may be that the reason your friend doesn't understand isn't because she's shaped differently than you, but because she has a positive body image while you don't yet.

Can I ask what you do for yourself to help nurture a positive body image? When do you feel really great in your own skin -- not just per looks, but just per how you FEEL?

Can you also accept that people have all different kinds of preferences when it comes to who they find beautiful? If this guy wanted to be with you, I think it's safe to assume he found you attractive. Sometimes you may find you are projecting your own biases unto others, if you get me.

[ 02-15-2010, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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