I've been in a steady and emotionally strong relationship with my boyfriend since last April. He's about a year and a half younger than me, but that hasn't really bothered either of us. He knows I've had relationships in the past, and I know that I'm his first girlfriend AND real crush. But I have not yet told him that I am not a virgin.
Thing is, we've been getting more and more physical, and although sex is still a long way off, we're very vocal to each other about our beliefs and expectations, and I feel I should tell him that I'm not a virgin sometime soon.
I'm completely free of any STDs (I've been tested four times, three since I last slept with my ex). I take birth control pills and plan to use both spermicide and condoms, and in case all fails, I have easy access to emergency contraception, so I feel pretty prepared in that respect.
NOT telling him is not an option for me, because I love him so much I couldn't do that. And I respect myself more than to lie just to get him to make love to me.
I can't make excuses for my previous experience. I was quite willing and ready, both emotionally and physically, and my experience was actually rather positive, a rarity for first timers. So I can't say I was raped or pressured or led astray or whatever.
I personally have no hangups about being the more experienced one. I find it quite a new and exciting thing to teach him what it's like to be in a relationship.
But I'm afraid of how he'll react to the fact that I've had sex before. He's been anxious about my previous relationships and for good reason (BOTH my exes seem to have developed a habit of bugging me to try to get me back. It doesn't work, but it's a pain in the ass. Especially when they do annoying stuff in front of him and others.) but even then he says he knows I'm his and love him deeply and that he trusts me.
I really want to know when and how I should tell him, and if a girl's virginity is that important to a guy. I'm reading back everything I've written so far and it seems like I have nothing to worry about, my boyfriend obviously loves and trusts me at a level unheard of for his age (16, and yes, it's legal where I live). I guess I just feel I have so much to lose, and I at least want to get my confidence up for when I do tell him.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.