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Hold on there, if this question is so important to you, you could have easily found the answer by reading articles on Scarleteen.
quote: From Pink Parts – Female Sexual Anatomy Around the vaginal opening, you may see your hymen (high-men). Your hymen may or may not be there, and that isn't always because of sex. Long ago (and still sometimes today) it was thought that the hymen was "evidence" of whether or not a woman had had sexual intercourse, but that is not the case at all. Not even all women are born with intact hymens! When someone is talking about "popping a cherry," this is what they are referring to, though it's really a misnomer. Your hymen is usually easily stretched or eroded with fairly basic physical activity, tampon use, masturbation, or other things. Even if your hymen is intact, it rarely covers that opening completely, but has little holes and perforations in it. Even after it has been torn or stretched, little folds of tissue remain. During first intercourse, pain or bleeding you experience may be due to stretching your hymen, and is perfectly normal. However, that pain or bleeding may well also be because you had sex without being aroused enough to be properly lubricated, or did not use extra lubricant if needed. On the other hand, there are some women whose hymens simply are so thick, or have such a small opening, that it is indeed painful to have intercourse or penetrate the vagina otherwise, and sometimes a medical procudre need be done to remedy that. All in all, there are many reasons for sexual pain, and stretching the hymen is only one of many.
There's no "difference" really. People used to think that not having a hymen was a sign that you weren't a virgin, but that's completely untrue--some women are born without hymens, as well as the fact that hymens are designed to erode over time.
quote:How can you tell that you don't have a hymen just by looking at it?
Well, it will (or won't) be visible around or just inside the vaginal opening - so you can just grab a mirror and have a look. If you're still unsure by looking, then have a feel.
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If you look at yourself with a mirror, you should be able to tell. Basically, hold your labia apart and take a look. If you've ever mentsruated, or used a tampon, or put anything in your vagina, there will be an opening in your hymen. This opening stretches over time. If you only see a small hole, then your hymen is mostly intact. If it's larger, it has eroded.
It's not a black and white thing. It's skin, it's stretchy-- it's not something that magically disappears all at once when you lose your virginity!
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