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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » does this make me a slut??

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Author Topic: does this make me a slut??
StarWonderer
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well, i was going out with my best guy friend for a little over 3 months. we were the best of friends before we went out for 3 years. when we started going out, it was great. we both gave our virginity to each other about a month and a half ago and continued to have sex right up until a week before we broke up. we still love each other as more than friends now, but we fought so much when we were going out. it was really bad lately. we had a huge talk and then we just decided to try out the "friends with benefits" thing since we love each other and want to still have sex but we fight so much when we are going out. well, we broke up officially wednesday. i have a date with a guy this saturday...now, my other good guy friend tells me that i will look like a slut since i am coming out of a long sexual relationship and 4 days later going out on a date with another guy. i told him, that "dating" is not a committment. it would be different if i were "going out/going steady" with this new guy. i do not plan on having sex with this new guy any time soon and he agrees that we should wait. i really care about this guy that i am going to date and he cares about me. what i wanna know is...do u think this makes me a slut by going on a date 4 days after i broke up with my boyfriend??
Posts: 32 | From: Tiffin, Ohio, United States | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
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My first question: what's so bad about being a slut?

Anyways, all levity aside, you have to decide what's best for you. If you feel that this is a good decision for you (and it sounds like you've thought about it and made some decisions and communicated with your date, all of which are great great things), then it probably is.

The decisions you make about your life should be the ones that are right for you and not the ones that other people want to make for you. i'm not saying you shouldn't listen to other people's opinion, but don't let your life be determined by them.

Erin


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girly2499
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I don't think it sounds slutty. Like you said, you aren't going to have sex with the guy. Its just a date. Actually, to me it seems like your ex is just jealous. But thats just what I thought it sounded like. Good luck with both of them.
Posts: 87 | From: nebraska, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Doe
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First, three months is not that long a sexual relationship.
Second, don't think of it as being a slut, think of it as being a female stud. If a guy were going out on a date 4 days after a break up, wouldn't people think of him that way. If you are emotionally ready to see others, go for it. It sounds like you are, don't worry about what others might think.

Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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You can't really count the three years that you two were friends as being part of your romantic relationship. And yes, three months is hardly any long-term relationship. The time that is between boyfriends is totally up to you. Obviously you don't feel like you need any "alone time" between the two guys, which is totally fine. If you feel like you're reading to start dating again, then go ahead, I say. IMO, I'd feel different about it if you were still having sex with your ex while you were in a committed relationship with another guy. You are not though, so I don't find anything wrong with your situation.
Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StarWonderer
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well, just to clear up a few things........the person who says that i would look like a slut IS NOT my recent ex, he is my OTHER best guy friend. my ex says go for it! as far as the "friends with benefits" thing goes, we have decided from the beginning that we WILL NOT do anything when one of us has another significant other in their lives. yesterday i preposed the idea of "friends who share learning experiences"...like we would continue to be "friends with advantages" but we would give each other tips for our future partners. i think it is a good idea! what do u think? i appriciate your guys support!
Posts: 32 | From: Tiffin, Ohio, United States | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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Since you have obviously both communicated a lot about sexual relations with each other and have preserved the idea that you will not have sex with each other while one is dating someone else, then I say GO FOR IT!! It's your lifestyle, so no one should be able to tell you that it is wrong since it is not his/her life.
Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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