In Bodaciously Bad Advice, a new regularly updated feature at Scarleteen, I look at some of the dating advice articles from glamour magazines and around the web. I find that most of these advice articles are heterocentric and endorse many gender stereotypes, in addition to just being really crappy dating advice. In deconstructing the articles, I hope to help you, the reader, see them for what they really are and learn to apply these skills of critical observation and thinking to other areas.
In many ways, it's the bane of my existence. Kids are just not part of my plan right now, and as much as I wish it were possible, the technology to shut my ovaries off at will for any length of time has not yet been developed. (Anyone who figures out how to do that will have my eternal gratitude. I might even make them cupcakes, I would be so grateful.) So, seeing as how I'm with a partner of the opposite sex, some sort of pregnancy prevention is required.
MTV's Staying Alive Foundation and The Body Shop have joined forces for a new campaign to help educate younger people about safer sex practices and how to prevent the spread of HIV. And The Body Shop would like to offer a Scarleteen reader a little something special to celebrate!
Yesterday, after working my second job at the clinic, I was effectively kidnapped by my co-worker Gigi and her ten-year-old daughter Sophia, whom I adore. She calls herself Big Sophia around me, my pug (scroll down this page for a visual) being Little Sofia. We wound up driving from their place to my neighborhood for dinner, which is a pretty long haul.
According to a recent pyschological study at the University of California - Los Angeles, keeping a journal or diary to express your feelings and experiences helps your brain cope with emotional challenges and, ultimately, make you happier. Apparently, the physical and mental act of working out our experiences on paper, be those memories trying or terrific, reduces the activity in the part of our brains responsible for controlling emotional intensity.
In many ways, sex education often seems to get stuck in two big places. Plenty of people seem to think that if you're talking about sex to young people at all -- no matter how you're talking about it, no matter why you're talking about it -- that's progressive enough, and for some, that in and of itself is too progressive. Despite Americans having over 100 years to get used to sex education at this point, for many it still seems an innovation, and not a particularly welcome one.
If you are in Italy these days and spend some time watching the news and talking to Italians, you'll notice that there is one topic on everyone's minds and that's rape. In the past few months, there has been extensive media coverage of several rapes that have been perpetrated in the big cities. There has been a huge public outcry coupled with a large demand for more police presence and tougher punishments for rape. Just last week, Prime Minister Berlusconi responded by passing emergency laws to deal with the situation.
The last few weeks I've been contemplating if my labia are bigger than my ears.
My partner became aware that this was on my mind because every few days she'd hear me murmur, "You know, I think my labia are bigger than my ears!"
From the look on her face I could tell she was trying to picture what my labia looked like, and then she'd peer at my ears. "Surely not. Of course they're fabulous, but I don't think they're that big."
"But I mean, fully stretched out, not just dangling."
Then she'd say, "Yeah, they could be. Should we measure?"
In life, generally, we can get ourselves in a pickle and need someone to talk to. Our friends and families love us, they can have great advice, but sometimes it doesn't match up with what we need or want and we don't want to offload on them or ask them for some new advice and tell them some of their well-meaning words didn't work and "so... can we try something else?". Which is how I have felt a lot of the time.