Blogs

Measurements

The last few weeks I've been contemplating if my labia are bigger than my ears.

My partner became aware that this was on my mind because every few days she'd hear me murmur, "You know, I think my labia are bigger than my ears!"

From the look on her face I could tell she was trying to picture what my labia looked like, and then she'd peer at my ears. "Surely not. Of course they're fabulous, but I don't think they're that big."

"But I mean, fully stretched out, not just dangling."
Then she'd say, "Yeah, they could be. Should we measure?"

Shrink Cocktail: My starter experience of counseling

My first blog! AHH!

Deep breaths. Right.

What I want to give is a quick individual early view of therapy and talk about my visit to the counseling service at my University; my first ever experience with therapy. The hope is that hearing what it was like for me would be a help to you if you are considering counseling and want to actually go for it.

How Easy It Isn't

yes means yes“Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” - Hedy Lamarr

"This Information will Not Kill You" or, How Our Whole Lives Changed My Life

My teenage years were filled with “evangelical sex education.” I remember the heavy use of punctuation in my True Love Waits book and wondering what sex was really like. At the time, I assumed marriage was the future of my sexuality. This was a bit upsetting considering sex felt like an unknown planet where I was unwelcome. In order to change history I started researching sexuality education programs. I was angry about my limited education and felt confident that there must be at least one curriculum in the US with gumption and accurate information for teens.

Spotlight on Scarleteen: Jacob

This Spotlight on Scarleteen interview features the one and only Jacob! Also known as PenguinBoy on the message boards, Jacob is an engineering student living in Leeds, UK. A big influence on his identity, both at the site as well as in person, is his rejection of labels. (You’ll hear more about this soon!) At Scarleteen, Jacob puts his diverse background to use by offering an introspective take on topics such as sexual orientation and relationships, while also being one of the few male volunteers at the site.

Currently taking a break from his studies, Jacob is a Jack(ob)-of-all-trades who manages to fit volunteering into his busy schedule, which includes recently having worked in the neonatal ICU and maternity area of a hospital, regularly creating art work and graphic design commissions, teaching English to asylum seekers and refugees, writing poetry­ and hanging out with his beloved friends. (Of course, this is to be expected from someone who is such an open, welcoming friend himself– in person and on the boards!)

While Jacob is frank and transparent about many things, it is his unique perspective on the non-importance of labels that is extra special. He offers a truly refreshing take on an age-old dilemma faced by so many young people questioning their sexual orientation. Jacob’s article Living without Labels could be seen as icing on the cake in that it wraps up all those resources while adding a sprinkle of his personal experience. Human sexuality is so diverse. People are as different and unique as snowflakes, if even more so; no one label appropriately describes anyone. Many websites and resources may sponsor that message but few hit the nail on the head as well as Jacob does in his piece.

To use his own words:

But for any of you who have trouble with trying to work it out, who actually undergo stress to fathom what box you belong in or have an inkling that maybe you're over-squeezed to fit in a badly shaped one, I suggest to just think for a moment, that maybe you don’t need a box after all. Like I don’t have to ‘come-out’ and confess that something of myself is different to that which never needed to have been assumed in the first place.

Not long ago, Jacob did come out–- from behind his computer screen–- so we could get to know him better. Indeed, even without the convenience of labels, Jacob peals back the layers to reveal a lot of interesting and new information about himself. Here it is, “straight”-up! Please feel free to comment or ask Jacob any questions directly by leaving a message on this page or in the Staff Stuff area of the message boards.

Without any further ado, let’s get started with the interview!

Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

There doesn't seem to be a week that passes at Scarleteen where we're not helping a user who is in some kind of crisis -- and often a whopper -- with an older male partner: pressured sex or a sexual abuse, a pregnancy scare (usually due to the guy having any and every reason why other guys can use condoms, but he's the great exception to every rule), a newly-acquired STI (again with the condom refusals, sometimes paired with lies about testing and sexual history), an abusive relationship (and often combined with a pregnancy scare, pregnancy or STI), isolation from friends or family (often beca