In the past few weeks, the topic of facials (the act of one partner ejaculating in another partner's face, most commonly seen by mainstream audiences in the context of heterosexual pornography wherein the female is ejaculated on as a form of submission and/or humiliation) has popped up in posts around the feminist and sex positive blogosopheres.
The pre-pubescent world of girlhood was one filled with a romanticization of my impending period. I thought that having a period would make me a woman. I was being prepared for my future as a mother! How exciting. But at the same time I also knew that it was my god-given duty to hide this change. I should change and I should celebrate it, but I couldn't make anyone uncomfortable.
At twenty years old, I have by no means conquered all of my personal anxieties or insecurities about sex and sexuality. But after spending years trying to deny it, I can say that I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am a sexual being.
For most of my life, I have conceptualized my sexuality as separate from the rest of my body, intellect, and soul. This schism between my sexuality and the idea I had of my ‘Self’ cut me deeply during some of what could have been the best years of my life.