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Spotlight on Scarleteen: Going the Distance in LDRs

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Submitted by Lena on Fri, 2008-11-28 13:37

Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships by Joey

Do you know that Cake song that goes, “He’s going the distance… he’s going for speed… she’s all alone (all alone!) in a time of need…”? If you also listened to a lot of alternative rock in the mid-nineties or just love clever trumpet-y tunes, the chorus to Cake’s “The Distance” may pop into your head upon reading this Scarleteen Take Two! article’s title. I’m not sure if author Joey had that song in mind when penning her piece, but “going the distance” to make long-distance relationships work is something she knows firsthand. In her article, “Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships,” Joey shares personal experience as well as great general advice for people in or considering long-distance relationships.

Joey is an international Scarleteen volunteer who is no stranger to moving, be it across the street or around the globe. She’s lived in several countries growing up, among them Germany, the US, and Italy. Currently considering where to continue her graduate studies, her Wanderlust has lasted into adulthood. Joey and her romantic partner have been together for many years; however, while there have been many visits and regular contact thanks to modern technology, they are yet to reside in the same place for an extended period of time. How do they make it work? Joey learned the ropes of LDRs by improvising as she’s gone along and would now like to share some advice, general guidelines, and other things to keep in mind while in or entering a long-distance relationship.

Distance can present new challenges to old relationships. Regardless of age and location, each long-distance move comes with new friends, new challenges, and new beginnings; leaving means keeping old friends in your heart and mind while leaving them behind physically. Add a romantic or sexual relationship to the mix and things get even more complicated. Alternatively, some new relationships start and blossom without its members having lived in the same place.

In her article, Joey starts by describing potential LDR scenarios and what to keep in mind if and when you and your partner/s are considering one. She mentions some ground rules (the key being open and honest communication!), as well as answers some common questions that arise. For example, one person asks: “But won't my partner be more likely to cheat if we're never together?” and another admits, “So what if I like the distance?” To find out her answers to this and more, I highly recommend checking out Joey’s ”Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships.” And after you’re done reading, please let her know what you think by leaving a note here or share your own personal experience with LDRs on the message boards.

What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.

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