Crowdsourcing: Breakup Blues Busters
Have you been through a breakup? Maybe more than one? If you have, you know how awful it can be, and how incredibly rough, especially when you're new to romantic or sexual relationships. Breakups between friends can be just as awful, too.
You probably also know that learning to deal with and get through a breakup is just as much of a learning process as learning to be in relationships is. Sometimes we'll have dealt with loss before breakups, so we have some clues and tools already when it comes to taking care of ourselves. But for plenty of young people, a breakup is a first major loss, and figuring out how to get through feeling so gutted while you're feeling so gutted can be seriously overwhelming.
Friends can be great sometimes, but not so great other times, even when they really are trying to do their best. Plenty of us know that quips like, "You deserved better than her, anyway," "His loss, seriously, you're so much better off," "Now you can go have some fun!" or "Oh, it was only puppy love," are often not exactly comforting.
And a person truly can only eat so much ice cream, only get lost in video games for so many days and only watch so many tearjerkers, despite the seemingly infinite supply of them Netflix streaming may offer. On top of all of that, some people's post-breakup behavior can be very unhealthy, resulting in harm to others, like stalking, harassment, or assault, or in self-harm. Getting help with coping well is really important for a whole lot of people.
So, can you help some of our readers out?
When you've been through a breakup -- whether you're 16 or 46 -- how have you dealt with it? What are the things that you found made you feel better?
How did you give yourself the time you needed to grieve over your loss, and how did you get other people to give you that space, rather than pushing you to move forward before you were ready? What were the things that got you from your grief space into a space where you could start to move forward?
What were the great things your friends or family did to help you, or, for that matter, the things they did that were utterly unhelpful?
In a word, can you step up, leave a comment, and be a shoulder for some of our readers who need one to lean on? We'll bring the ice cream if you bring the wisdom.