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Why Cory Loves Premature Ejaculation

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Wed, 2009-07-22 09:03

This is a quickie. But it was so fantastic, and here at Scarleteen we have so many young men who are so freaked out and upset when they ejaculate sooner than they'd like, that I had to race over here and link to it ASAP.

From the piece, by the wonderful Cory Silverberg:

...the idea of premature ejaculation presupposes that there is a clear end goal, and that you’re getting there too soon. It also presupposes that extending sex is an obvious goal of sex. If you’re ejaculating before you want to, or before your partner wants to, the first thing you ought to do is ask yourself, what is it that I want to extend? Is the sex I’m having good enough to want to make it last longer? Am I coming quickly because really, there’s not much to wait around for? And do I want the goal I set for sex to be one that requires a stopwatch to evaluate?

What if all you wanted from a sexual encounter was to feel good? If ejaculating prematurely feels bad then you’ve got a good reason to learn to control ejaculation. If it doesn’t, then maybe what’s required is a conversation with your sexual partner about what they want, and how you can make sure you both get what you want, how you want it.

The second reason I love premature ejaculation is that it provides an interesting counter narrative to the traditional story we tell ourselves about male sexuality. Male sexuality is simple, we say. Guys are either on or off, and really, nudge-nudge-wink-wink, they’re always on. The penis is a obvious, visible organ, no where near as mysterious or complicated as the vulva, clitoris, vagina, or anus.

But if any of this were true, how come we can’t figure out definitively why men premature ejaculate?

Go and read it all. Right now. Seriously. Go.

Comments

Or why so many of the "always

Mon, 2010-10-11 19:59
Anonymous

Or why so many of the "always on" types need viagra

Personal Preference

Tue, 2009-12-08 18:49
Lena

Hi inspiron1420, we do appreciate your taking the time to comment on this article. However, I would like to point out that this is your personal preference or opinion on this matter. We're glad you've found something that works well for you and yours. That said, at Scarleteen we seek to phrase our comments and advice in ways that show these things may be our suggestions but it's ultimately up to the individual to decide what works best and feels most comfortable for them. So, it's fine to keep your message above but we'd recommend you make it into more an an "I" rather than "you" statement. :-)

Speaking of reciprocity, which is important and something you bring up, we have an article on this called Reciprocity, Reloaded.

Why Cory Loves Premature Ejaculation

Thu, 2009-12-03 17:24
inspiron1420

medically or logically speaking if you ejaculate after erection...its perfect....the physiological purpose is served...
But you and most of the times your partner are left unsatisfied....and it is not possible to start soon in normal conditions....
so it is better to masturbate and ejaculate for the first and then go for sex.. you will sustain longer and will enjoy it.....

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