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unicyu
not a newbie
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:53 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: athleticism
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she
My sexual identity and orientation: bi curious
Location: bmore

Re: ?

Unread postby unicyu » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:42 am

ok well if it is what should i do? is it not ok to stay. he hasnt done it ever since and uk ive done shit too. ik it sounds unhealthy and it is dont get me wrong. but i love him and i want to know if we take yall advice and work on it we can be together

unicyu
not a newbie
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:53 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: athleticism
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she
My sexual identity and orientation: bi curious
Location: bmore

Re: ?

Unread postby unicyu » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:01 am

idk what to do. tbh i want to work. ik he wasnt being malicious he always made a jokin face and a jokin expression. i coukd tell in his eyes he didnt. he always asks me what we do during sex is ok. and idk why i dont want to go. i can leave now he said he'd understand why. but i truely love him and i cant say why. he treats me good despite all that ive said

unicyu
not a newbie
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:53 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: athleticism
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she
My sexual identity and orientation: bi curious
Location: bmore

Re: ?

Unread postby unicyu » Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:34 pm

we need help. he is kind of controlling. like im watching these videos and i was noticing stuff. like he always asks why im wearing makeup if im not seeing him and i dont listen cause i do whatever the fuck i want. and he always thinks im talkin to another guy. and i think hes talkin to ppl to and ik this ties into our unhealthy relationship. like idk. we dont have a lot of trust in our relationship and i want to change that. like when we argue i cut him off or like when we argue and i turn around he like grabs my arm and turns me back around or grabs my hand or arm to keep me from walking away

unicyu
not a newbie
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:53 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: athleticism
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she
My sexual identity and orientation: bi curious
Location: bmore

Re: ?

Unread postby unicyu » Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:41 pm

like neither of us rly got girls or boys on our phone cause we'd get jealous. and ig thats from the luggage we brought into the relationship. we got rid of people when the person asked to or if the person got mad about the person on the phone. like ik he has anxiety and all and i do too but idk how to handle it. i jus want us to get better and uk trust more and find ways to not be controlling. like if we trust each other we wont be right? and does that mean he will abuse me if he kind of his controlling? or is it just unhealthy? like im sure he wouldnt like hit me or push me or anything

unicyu
not a newbie
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:53 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: athleticism
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she
My sexual identity and orientation: bi curious
Location: bmore

Re: ?

Unread postby unicyu » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:38 am

he said he was gonna kill his self and he said he wasnt he wanted to see if i cared but idk what to think. thats fucking disgusting. but idk if thats manipulative. i said like u gonna kys over me and he didnt respond then he said yep then didnt respond again when i asked 3 times. but he was like crying and bawling and when he said thay he blurted it out angrily so i kinda think it was a buildup of emotion. he told me that he said it bcause he was crying and i didnt seemed like i cared and i cussed at him when he asked to hang cause i kept sayin no but he kept askin and crying and i was cussin at him and i said things in spite. so he said he said it to see if i even still cared about him and he apologized for it

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 7113
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago, IL and Vashon Island, WA

Re: ?

Unread postby Heather » Sun Mar 17, 2019 2:51 pm

unicyu: I'm sorry that no one has been able to answer your posts today or yesterday, but I am afraid it appears we have been very short-staffed this weekend.

Can you hold off on making any more until someone answers you? It's just going to be very hard for anyone to catch up once we do have staff (I can't work today, I won't be here until tomorrow afternoon) if you keep adding on more and more like this. I'm sorry you have to wait, but there's just no way around it. Thanks for being patient.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 7113
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago, IL and Vashon Island, WA

Re: ?

Unread postby Heather » Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:37 am

Okay, so in all the posts you made while I was away, you have mentioned a lot of different things that are just not okay:
• your boyfriend threatening to kill himself to try and emotionally manipulate you (to "see if you cared")
• your boyfriend having a very hard time with his feelings and having a hard time managing them in healthy ways
• a history of both of you doing things that aren't healthy to try and manage both of your jealousy instead of either of you actually WORKING on being jealous and managing those feelings in healthy ways
• you are saying there is a lot of control and insecurity on both your parts
• you have again mentioned a history of questionable consent

It's super clear that you BOTH need some real help, both with your relationship, but also separate from your relationship, as individuals. All the kinds of things you keep bringing here aren't things that two very young people with what sounds like no real education or support in healthy dynamics, and no ongoing help, are going to be able to fix on your own.

That's not because there is something the matter with the two of you, but because no one in that position could, all by themselves, and without even doing any reading to know what's healthy in the first place, do this by themselves or just together.

You say you can't walk in your neighborhood. I know parts of Baltimore can be rough, and that it's been particularly rough there lately (so sorry about that, too, it is such a cool city in some ways), but are you leaving to go to school? Is he in school?

If one or both of you aren't in school, can you give me an idea of what your day is like? Where DO you go? Do one or both of you have healthcare coverage, whether that's an insurance plan or public health? I'm trying to get a picture of all this so that we can find both of you some in-person help and/or some ways to access basic help resources, like books.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead


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