Hey there, Lostand_found.
I'm sorry to hear more about all of this in terms of how hard some of this has been for you.
So, one of the things that's made me happiest over the last year at Scarleteen is that we have two writers doing some work here -- who I invited here -- whose work is literally all about sexuality negatively influenced by some kinds of religious thinking and approaches to sexuality. Their names are Emily Joy and Hannah Boning (and if you use Twitter or Instagram at all, they work together as @impurityculture on both those platforms). They're not the only people doing this work, either, and they're also a great resource for finding out more about all the other people doing this kind of work.
I don't myself come from this kind of culture. But my mother did, and I'm sadly all too familiar with some of its impacts (including on me, secondarily). And so, so many of our users, over the last decade, especially, have or do come from this, and struggle a lot with it. I have a lot of concern and compassion about this, so I'm very grateful to have this kind of help with this around here from two people who know more about it all more directly than I do.
Anyway, they've just gotten started here, but I want to share what they have already published with you, which I think will be useful to you. I also have a couple more things I can share, from myself and others, I think might help, including more specifically with reclaiming/healing/experiencing sexuality after abuse:
• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/qa/we ... ationships
• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/polit ... uality_sin
• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/polit ... _virginity
• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... mate_again
• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... nd_assault
• The University of Alberta also has a good PDF with information on sex after abuse: https://www.ualberta.ca/current-student ... fe870.ashx
. I've actually been drafting a framework for a whole series on this here, but unfortunately, we don't have it yet. In the meantime, I think theirs is very good as a place to start.