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At what point does it go from safe to overdone

Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:11 am
by superking75
(before i say anything else I do want to say a few small things: I am a virgin and probably will be for a while...and i'm less knowledgeable. As well as if my partner talked with me about anything below i would have no problem with it, I respect that...)

Personally I'm not going to get intimate with someone before we've both had std tests and all that I'm saying here is based on both of those being clean...

Latex gloves for sex? I've worn latex gloves before for other things and know that you can't feel a thing through them and they get really hot after a short time. I understand being safe, but isn't that unnecessary with no gain?

Condom/dam for oral? If both partners are clean and like the taste of the other doesn't that venture into 'unnecessary with no gain' even making things taste worse...?

Re: At what point does it go from safe to overdone

Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 9:40 am
by Heather
This is all so much about personal preferences and specific situations, there's not going to be a general answer for this. Instead, it's going to depend on the unique people involved in any given sexual relationship or interaction, their unique circumstances and also their unique preferences.

For example, for someone who is highly inclined to bacterial infections, worrying about getting one may be a sex buzzkill for them, so gloves can give them the peace of mind that lets them actually enjoy the sex they're having. Someone else may like using gloves because of nothing to do with infection protection at all, but because even just callouses on fingers can sometimes feel rough and unpleasant inside a vagina or anus, while a smooth, lubed glove (which shouldn't leave anyone feeling nothing with their hands unless they are wearing a glove that's way, way too tight!) can feel great. Someone else, on the other hand, may feel like they prefer partners just wash hands, and may like the texture of the fingers.

Same goes for using barriers for oral sex. This is going to depend a lot on what someone knows about the STI status of a partner - Have they even be recently tested? Do they know them well enough yet to even trust that? Maybe they are nonmonogamous by design or both parters aren't current with their testing. Maybe there IS a current infection to protect from, etc. -- and what people find works best for them. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by asking if barriers for oral sex make things taste worse, which seems to assume oral sex doesn't taste good from the get go, or that a taste in the mouth (when there even is one from a barrier, which there isn't always) is somehow a big deal compared to contracting an STI.

But again, this isn' going to be stuff you can sort out universally in the abstract. You'll have to wait until you're sexually active with someone and then you will sort it out together based on what works best for each of you and what each of you wants.

Re: At what point does it go from safe to overdone

Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:42 pm
by superking75
Heather wrote:This is all so much about personal preferences and specific situations, there's not going to be a general answer for this. Instead, it's going to depend on the unique people involved in any given sexual relationship or interaction, their unique circumstances and also their unique preferences.

For example, for someone who is highly inclined to bacterial infections, worrying about getting one may be a sex buzzkill for them, so gloves can give them the peace of mind that lets them actually enjoy the sex they're having. Someone else may like using gloves because of nothing to do with infection protection at all, but because even just callouses on fingers can sometimes feel rough and unpleasant inside a vagina or anus, while a smooth, lubed glove (which shouldn't leave anyone feeling nothing with their hands unless they are wearing a glove that's way, way too tight!) can feel great. Someone else, on the other hand, may feel like they prefer partners just wash hands, and may like the texture of the fingers.

Same goes for using barriers for oral sex. This is going to depend a lot on what someone knows about the STI status of a partner - Have they even be recently tested? Do they know them well enough yet to even trust that? Maybe they are nonmonogamous by design or both parters aren't current with their testing. Maybe there IS a current infection to protect from, etc. -- and what people find works best for them. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by asking if barriers for oral sex make things taste worse, which seems to assume oral sex doesn't taste good from the get go, or that a taste in the mouth (when there even is one from a barrier, which there isn't always) is somehow a big deal compared to contracting an STI.

But again, this isn' going to be stuff you can sort out universally in the abstract. You'll have to wait until you're sexually active with someone and then you will sort it out together based on what works best for each of you and what each of you wants.

Thanks for the infromation, honestly.

Generally(not nessesaraly always) the idea behind gloves if them being used for manual stimulation, not nessesaraly the entire time?

Sorry if I implied that taste matters more than preventing an sti...that's not how I had meant that.

Re: At what point does it go from safe to overdone

Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 7:08 am
by Sam W
Yep, when gloves are used, it's generally for manual stimulation. Most people will take them off if they move on to a different activity.