Scarleteen

hello scarleteam, me again.

i am practicing an instrument. my teacher is a guy in his 30s, average looking. i have been getting intrusive thougths about him of sexual nature, trying to convince me that i am attracted to him.

during practice i would get random thoughts of him in sexual situations, and when i fantasized about fictional or celebrity crushes, my brain sometimes would replace them with my teacher.

these thoughts are disgusting to me and i don't know how to get rid of them or fully convince myself that this is not what i truly feel.

P.S i don't have OCD but i have various other mental conditions, and i get intrusive thoughts in other ways too.

Hey Lyle,

The part of your question which jumps out at me is the phrase "convince myself that this is not what i truly feel".

What does that mean to you?

My first thought is that it is mighty difficult/impossible to sort all our thoughts into "true feelings" or not, because at that level of day-dreaming, our thoughts are pretty much on autopilot, and those thoughts only really has the meaning that we ascribe to them.

Thankfully, having thought of a thing, and wanting thank thing, with everything it entails are not the same.

A passing thought is not the same as a fantasy which is not the same as a desire which is not the same as a plan.

I think it's pretty clear which end of that spectrum this is on for you. Do you think it could help to put less weight on this as being anything meaningful in the first place?

Trying to 'convince' your self of anything, sounds like a lot more effort than saying "meh, there's that weird thought again, whatever, next" when this pops up again.