Scarleteen

I always feel bad when I listen to erotic audio or watch porn. I feel that the value of a man is in the size of his penis, maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel.

My penis is about 5 inches and I hate myself a lot because of it. Ahh and please don't tell me 5 inches is OK because everyone likes huge penises. All the audios or videos that I see or listen to, the characters are always impressed with the size of the penis.

I should have died in my mother's womb instead of being born this loser. I'm a virgin and I can't even persue a girl so I can have sex because I have a measly 5 inches of stick in my underwear.

Hi Felipe,

So, before I say anything else, if you genuinely feel like you might hurt yourself, I ask that you contact a crisis line before continuing our conversation here (if you need one and can't find the information, we can help you find that). You may have been using that language hyperbolically, but user safety is the most important thing so I want to be sure you're not in danger before getting more in-depth with things here.

All that being said, I'm going to tell you that a five inch penis is okay because, well, it is. To deny that would be to be dishonest about the data that's out there about bodies and pleasure. For starters, the average penis length is around 5-6 inches. That means that, while some people do have longer penises, some have ones that are shorter than that, and a LOT of people have ones close to the size you do. That's why sexual media that focuses on, or only includes, long penises isn't all that realistic; it's presenting them as the norm when they really, really aren't. Does that make sense?

Too, when it comes to having sex with someone with a vagina, the most sensitive spots are at maximum two or so inches inside the vaginal canal, if they're inside it at all (since part of clitoris is on the outside and usually isn't stimulated by vaginal sex). And that's before we get to the part where pleasure during sex has way, way more to do with things like communication than it does with the size of a given persons genitals.

It's good to know that, but I feel so worthless... Every day is just sadness and nothing else

Can I ask why you feel that way? Is it really all attached to the size of your penis and your perception that it's somehow "wrong?" Or does it feel like that sadness comes from multiple places?

Sam I feel this way because of the size. I feel like this is kind of a disadvantage and that no woman would want to be with me because of that

Why do you think that feeling is persisting given when we discussed upthread (that you're of average size and that pleasurable sex has way more to do with other things)? Do you feel like it's just the sexual media you consume making you feel this way? Or have you gotten negative messages about your body or suitability as a partner from other people in your life?

Too, I feel like you're attaching a LOT of significance to something that we know is pretty dang low, if not nonexistent, on the list of traits most women want in a partner. While every person is different, things like compatibility, shared interest, and plain old physical attraction tend to matter way more when people are looking for sexual or romantic partners.