Wanking

Questions and discussions about your bodies and their parts.
Babe101
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Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

I am meeting up with my boyfriend. He always fingers me and I love it. I am going to wank him, what is the most pleasurable way
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thewrit3r
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by thewrit3r »

Hi, Babe101!

Everyone has their own preferences on how they like to be touched. Some ways are common and of course you could look up how most men like to masturbate, but I think the best thing to do would be to ask your boyfriend how he likes to be touched/ show you what he likes. That way, you're not just left wondering and he'll likely appreciate that you took the time to ask him what he's interested so it's more enjoyable for both of you
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
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Babe101
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

Thanks, what are the common ways?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Heather
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Heather »

There really isn't such a thing, and it wouldn't be very helpful if there was, because that still wouldn't mean your partner liked those ways.

The way to find out what he likes is by experimenting and communicating. You can also always ask him to show you how he does it himself, which tends to be very informative.

But mostly just think about this like kissing: you figure out how to do it with a given person by just trying what the thing is -- in this case, touching your partner's genitals with your hands -- in a way that feels good to you, checking in with your partner with words and by observing to find out what feels good to them, and learning as you go, which is actually something that tends to be one of the most fun parts of sex. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Babe101
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

My boyfriend has never wanked! Please tell me some common ways!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
thewrit3r
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by thewrit3r »

Like Heather said everyone has their preferences so you could just try something and see which one he likes from his reaction/response to you (if he says it feels good/doesn't). Even if he's never masturbated before he'll know what feels comfortable when you do it and you'll both likely figure out where to go from there
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
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Heather
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Heather »

Also, it is really, really unlikely he never has.

However, in the event that's true, then the same stuff still applies - you'll both just experiment together, which, again, truly is the fun part of sex - and communicate as you go.

It sounds like you don't feel comfortable about that basic part of sex with partners. If I have that right, do you want to talk about that?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Babe101
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

Yes please, Heather
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Heather
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Heather »

You got it. :)

Can you write a little about how and why (if you know), the sexual process of getting to know a partner and learning each other makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Babe101
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

I really like him but I like to know a guaranteed way to wank him so that he'll like it. I do not like figuring it out in case it goes wrong. Is that stupid?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9532
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
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Location: Chicago

Re: Wanking

Unread post by Heather »

It's not stupid, but it's not realistic. Even people who have been sexual with someone for decades can't ever figure that is a guarantee. And that also shouldn't be a big deal. After all, sex with someone isn't a service we are providing (unless we are doing sex work), but an experience we are sharing.

And again, having that experience is supposed to be fun and feel like an adventure. If it feels like you have to know how to do sex as a service, or to deliver an orgasm or other good feelings OR ELSE, then you will want to check in with yourself about that, and maybe even talk to your partner about it.

Do you feel like it is okay for your partner to try things with you that you won't always get off on, or that you might not like, or might need to ask him to try something a little differently with?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Babe101
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Re: Wanking

Unread post by Babe101 »

Thanks heather
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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