I'm 20 years old and I've never had partnered sex before. I'm getting increasingly close to my boyfriend of two months and would really like to try having sex soon. I do masturbate but I've always been happy to do that without putting anything inside my vagina. When I have tried to, either out of curiosity, or to use a tampon (which I've never managed), my finger won't go up further than a little past the first knuckle. It's not that hurts, but it gets uncomfortable and I get the impression it would hurt if I went further. That and I can't really tell where the passage goes, though I'm sure I do have the right hole.
I've been doing my best to read up on this and sex in general, including the With Pleasure and Innies & Outies pages on this site, and similar message board discussions. I found this in Innies & Outies:
"On the other hand, there are some whose vaginal coronas simply are so thick, or have such a small opening, that it is indeed painful to have intercourse or enter the vagina otherwise, and sometimes a medical procedure needs to be done to remedy that."
Is there a term for this condition(s), so I can ask Google or my doctor? It seems to me it's distinct from vaginismus, is that correct? Could you link me to any more detailed resources? What does that medical procedure involve?
I'll get some lube and try it one more time, reeeally slowly, before I see a doctor, if only so I can explain exactly what's stopping me. Is there a trick or strategy that might help me out, or an indicator that I should give up and ask a doctor?
I am going to see my GP about sexual health regardless and I'm thinking I'll ask her to recommend me a gynecologist. The problem is that I'm nervous at the prospect of anyone other than my boyfriend seeing/touching my genital area and terrified by the idea of them inserting fingers or instruments. I actually keep crying at that thought, and I know being nervous will just make it worse, and it all looks like a vicious cycle waiting to happen. What can I do???
Going back to the corona-opening procedure mentioned above, is it a clear-cut need or a sort of choice between that and painful sex? Will I end up just having to deal with (I assume) painful penetration for a while? Would that even fix it?
Thank you Scarleteen staff, first of all for reading the long post, and then for your help! I'd also be happy to hear from other users with advice or sympathy.