Sexuality

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Martian14
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2019 12:22 am
Age: 21
Awesomeness Quotient: I’m really empathic
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Confusing
Location: Canada

Sexuality

Unread post by Martian14 »

Hey! So I’m super duper confused with my sexuality, and I know I never really have to put a label but it’s just been confusing me. I came out as bi a year and a half ago. But I’ve been realizing lately on all my past crushes and relationships with guys and I never was attracted to them sexually. Romantically yes, because I fell inlove with a guy before and he was the first person I ever fell in love with. But I never wanted anything to go sexually. With girls on the other hand when ever I have a crush on one I have both romantic and sexual feelings. I’ve also looked in the past when I was a kid I had butterfly’s for girls all the time, and when a guy gave me attention I started to “like” them. If that makes sense? So my question is what does this mean? Or like what can this mean?
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Sexuality

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Martian14,

So, one thing this could mean is that you experience attraction to different genders in different ways. That's actually quite common for people who are bi, and this article does a good job of explaining it: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... _and_women .

More important than what we think this could mean is whether you think it means anything major in terms of your identity. For instance, has noticing this pattern left you feeling like bi might not be the term that best matches your identity? Or is it more that you've noticed this pattern and feel like it fits into how you currently identify just fine (or something else entirely)?
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