Wish we were kids again life was less complicated

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Indescribable
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:09 pm
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: My ability to stay in control of my emotions
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Georgia

Wish we were kids again life was less complicated

Unread post by Indescribable »

Lately my step sister well you can say ex step sister since my dad divorced her mom well she's gotten mature and notices things that she didn't before about me when growing up I always lecture her to wait to have bf first love is special and it almost never last when at a young age and told her stay as a innocent girl as long as possible cause life is easier that way so now that she's an adult 20 to be exact she asked me questions like she was in love with me for the longest growing up since I babied her growing up even though she was my step sister and she followed my advice to get my attention and I never did and she would prefer to lose her innocence with me but I can't seem to give her a real answer I mean I see her as a amazing great smart beautiful person but idk if it's cause we grew up together or something more I know it's not illegal but I feel like it's morally wrong cause she's my little sisters big sister and I'm her big brother if we catch feelings for one another it could confuse my little sister and honestly I think it looks bad even though we not related in anyway blood papers family or any form other then having the same little sister I kinda attracted to her in a way cause the way my friends always guy talk me into seeing her in a way I never did before but I keep my guy raging hormones in check and think of a effect it might bring and a part of me doesn't want to crush her heart on a rejection I would if the situation was different if we didn't have the same little sister then I wouldn't even second think it cause my dad remarried and her mom did too but the shear fact of remorse afterwards is high idk what to do what to say who tell tell who to listen I wish I could just be like any other guy and fuck first regret after but I was not raised that way why does love turn into lust when we become adults I hope I'm not breaking any guidelines but I honestly don't know who to ask this to but I can't keep avoiding her question and I can't make a decision on my own wish I could respond back with a jaja your so funny and move on but men's emotions and taking things lightly are different meaning to our counterparts please help me get a correct answer
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9844
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
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Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Wish we were kids again life was less complicated

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Indescribable,

My suggestion would be to listen to the parts of yourself that are telling you this is not a wise decision. If you'd like to figure out ways to tell her that (and also ways to tell your friends to knock of their comments, since said comments are not helping the situation), that's something we can help you with (I'd also caution you against assuming that women's emotions are radically different from men's, because the truth of the matter is that emotional reactions to things tend to have much more to do with the individual person than with their gender).

Too, it may help to adjust how you think about you "raging" hormones, and think about them as things that can influence how you feel but that cannot control your actions. You can read more about that here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... e_me_do_it
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