Boyfriend’s Having Problems

[Sunflower18]

Hi Scarleteen!

I just wanted to ask a question on behalf of my boyfriend. So we’ve been having sex for awhile now and when we first started doing it, we would do it many times throughout the day. Now, we can barely do it twice because my boyfriend can’t keep an erection. Is this normal? He usually can get hard before we start, but then he finishes and we can’t go again because he won’t be able to get hard or will go soft while doing it. Should I be worried? I’m just not sure what would be the cause of this happening. This has also happened more than once.

Thanks for the help!

[Sam W]

Hi Sunflower,

People's sexual response cycles, including things like their refractory period (which you can read about here: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide )and how many times they can have a certain type of sex in a day can be influenced by a bunch of different things. Too, it sounds like your boyfriend is within the average spread of how many times a person is up for sex in a given day, so this is unlikely to be something to be concerned about. Sexual patterns, including how many times a day/week it happens, will vary throughout the course of a relationship. If he's feeling worried about it, this article might be helpful for both of you: ED: Why You Don't Have to Get So Down About Not Getting It Up

If you both still want to be sexual multiple times a day, have you discussed or experimented with ways to do that that don't require an erection?