No cum, no condom

[Ck1234]

I almost feel too old to be on here but I need a little bit of peace of mind while sitting here at work having a little crisis. My best friend of a year moved out of state around 2 weeks ago on the last two days he was here he stayed at my house overnight and we were intimate together (both early 20s btw.) we’ve been intimate before in fact we met on tinder about 3 years ago over Christmas and honestly I’ll admit we’ve never used a condom minus the first time when we had first met. I was always on birth control and to be honest there was never an issue so I never though too much about it. We haven’t had sex in awhile leading up to these last two instances in fact I haven’t been sexually active in months due to stopping my birth control because it was making me sick. I didn’t even consider the fact I haven’t had my new birth control administered and proceeded to have completely unprotected sex with him. I couldn’t tell you if he had any precum and during one instance I was mildly intoxicated so I can’t speak to how long we even had sex but I know he went soft the first time due to being tired and intoxicated and the second one he stopped before we came at all.

Fast forward we’re approaching two weeks post his departure and I notice my mood swings are pretty rough but chalk it up to missing him, then I notice I’m always nauseous and dizzy and have no appetite at all, and no matter how early I go to bed and how much coffee I drink I am always sleepy (I’ll fall asleep at 8) which is unusual for me I’m typically up fairly late. I go to my doctors assuming I was ill and he proceeded to ask if I was pregnant. I don’t know if it was my hesitation or something else but he immediately ordered a pregnancy test but told me to wait another week or so for the most accuracy. I’m still waiting to take the blood test but everyday since I seem to notice more and more symptoms and when I google them or mention them to any friend or coworker who’s been pregnant they all give me the same look and ask if I’m pregnant. I’ve notice bloating in the past couple days that doesn’t go down anymore and even a little weight gain in my face and arms, I can barely walk from my desk to restroom, which I now have to do multiple times to pee, without getting winded or feeling my heart beat and I’ve noticed odd sore feelings on the sides of my stomach and directly in the center. And the one that doesn’t want to go away is my never ending burps all day food or no food I’ll have tiny burps all day.

I guess my question is, while I’m aware having sex always includes the risk of pregnancy and having completely unprotected sex well begs for a pregnancy what are the odds I’m just imagining these symptoms as a way of coping with him leaving or because I’m now stressed my doctor is right? Or should I be genuinely expecting or preparing for a pregnancy.


** I want to add i did start a new job mid June and wonder if these all could be rooted to any stress (which isn’t a lot to be honest) ***

[al]

Hi there ck1234, and welcome to Scarleteen!

Based on the situation that you described, there is a risk of pregnancy. But, because there was no ejaculation, your risk is lower than it would have been if there had been. The withdrawal method has an effectiveness rate of 96% with perfect use and 73-82% effectiveness rate with typical use (read more about that at Birth Control Bingo: Withdrawal), so most likely, you're not pregnant.
While we're speaking of risk, was there any conversation before, during, or afterwards about STI risk? Similar to pregnancy, there is less risk in terms of exposure without ejaculation, but there is some risk in non-ejaculative intercourse. Have you gotten any STI testing before, and have you thought about when you might do it in the future?

In terms of the symptoms that you're experiencing, they could definitely be caused by stress and other factors, but the only way to know for sure is to wait for that pregnancy test and take it.You might also find reading through Pregnancy Scared? and Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul helpful.

In the meantime, you mentioned "new" birth control. Does that mean you're planning on starting back up with a new hormonal method?

[Ck1234]

Yes, should be getting an IUD in the next couple months sadly had to wait for my referral appointment which was only available months later. STI wise both of use discuss it opening and are tested regularly!