Thanks for sharing all of this. No need for apologies: more information is helpful.
So, it sounds to me, reading this, like a few things are going on that are probably the main why's of how you have been feeling:
1) It sounds like the pace of some of this has probably been faster than is really right for you, which is maybe what those feelings are trying to tell you in part. How might you feel about taking a couple steps back and slowing things down?
2) It sounds likely your family isn't at all okay with what you're doing, that it is something you have to hide and that you have fears around that. It's something you obviously can't even talk about, and where certain outcomes might result in really scary things like not having a place to live. Shame and fear and guilt like that often plays a big part in this kind of fear.
3) You are already in a big body-mystery (the GI stuff), which probably adds to this as well.
In other words, it all seems pretty obvious to me why you are probably feeling like this.
I do think slowing things down is probably the easiest and best thing you could try right now. Maybe just see what happens if you spend a few weeks or months (or however long you want) not doing ANY of the things that seem to cue up these fears?