Thanks for trusting me enough to make that share.
I don't think it sounds awful. I think it sounds common. (And I have certainly been there myself, even when it wasn't what I intended.) But I agree, it's certainly not ideal, and it can become pretty problematic, especially if we're not giving ourselves time to grieve, review, process, and also get some time on our own in this way, and/or if we're locking ourselves out of other things, and into the one thing, from the front each time.
I think all those things on your list sound like parts of a fantastic, phenomenal life, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to pursue a focus on them. Honestly, I don't think there is a "the one" (and really, I'd hope not: as a person who has had more than one big, important love relationship, I'd wish more than one on everyone), but I'm also pretty sure that whether there is or isn't, we're more likely to find and enter into relationships that have the capacity to be mutually big and great when we are also living whole, full lives we love a lot and can make for ourselves already, you know?
Extra bonus: when you learn that you can make and have a life that's got a ton of what you want in it without a big romantic or sexual partner, it gets a lot easier to stop worrying so much about what-if that doesn't happen. Because it matters less and less if it does, ultimately, when your life doesn't feel full of holes, if you follow me. I hope you have a wonderful time on your upcoming trip!