Scarleteen

Hi everyone. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months now and everything's been great, we are very much in love and we have great sex. However, sometimes, very rarely, after I orgasm I get this very strange feeling and begin to feel very detached from my boyfriend. Like, his presence might bother me or I will start worrying about our relationship, wondering if I really love him. 99% of the time I know for a fact I love him and wanna be with him but I sometimes get this feeling after an intense orgasm. I've heard of men kinda feeling like this: they don't feel like cuddling and just turn around and go to sleep, but I've also heard this is natural for guys, I don't know about girls! Hope you guys can help me understand this!

Hi ariannammm,

It sounds like this phenomenon is causing you some distress, and we'll do our best to help you puzzle out what might be going on. One good thing is that this seems to be a rare occurrence and not otherwise indicative of how you feel about your relationship, so it's unlikely that your brain is trying to alert you to some kind of red flag. It's possible that this is similar to an intrusive thought, where your brain randomly tosses out an idea that's completely illogical, and something about being post-orgasm makes it toss out this particular thought.

Too, it's pretty common to have times where you don't want to cuddle or have physical contact after sex. It's a cliche that men don't want it, but it happens to people of all genders. When the initial pleasure and excitement from sex and orgasm start wearing off, you notice that you're feeling too hot or too sticky to want to touch another person or just need some breathing space. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or the relationship, it just means that sometimes your body goes, "oof, that was a lot of physical contact and now I would like to not be touching anything for a bit."