Hi FantaOrange,
It's possible that your clit is on the smaller end so it's not particularly pronounced when you're looking at it. It's also important to keep in mind that much of the clitoris is internal (so even if it doesn't look like much from the outside it's definitely there), and that it becomes erect when someone is sexually aroused which ends up making it look bigger. so depending on how the images you've seen were created the clitoris in them may look more like an aroused clitoris.
Arousal may also be part of why you're only feeling a little bit of pleasure from stimulating your clitoris. Pleasure comes more from our brains than from our genitals, so if you're touching your clitoris but aren't mentally aroused it's not going to feel as good as it would were you super turned on (you can read more about why that is here:
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body ) . Too, while some people get a ton of pleasure from clitoral stimulation during sex, other people don't find it as enjoyable and still have happy, satisfying sex lives. So even if touching your clitoris doesn't give you much pleasure, there's no reason to assume that you won't experience orgasm or other types of sexual pleasure. Does that all make sense?
Since you mentioned it, can I ask why you're adamant that you'll never see a gynecologist?